Candy Witch vs. Hansel and Gretel
in my defense, they ate my house.
I kept it pristine and clean.
No mouse nor louse entered my house.
Then two brats,
Yes, those two there, Hansel and Gretel,
ramble up my sweets walk
breaking candy canes and lollipops.
They ate my house!
Yes, I lost it, temporary insanity,
and locked them in my oven.
I didn’t turn it on; I was pissed.
They ran to town,
calling me a witch, vilifying me.
I’m not the greedy grub eating houses.
I’m the victim through and through.
Your Honor, I’m the proprietor
of Sweets to Treats, a confectioner extraordinaire.
They ate my home. They ate my business.
Until they devoured it
my home was delectable, business successful.
Life was full of fun, fantastic, and fulfilling.
Now I live in a parking lot.
A parking lot!
Yes indeed, Your Honor.
I’m homeless now.
I’m a victim, I swear.
Lock them up,
not me, the ruined wretch without a home.
Lock them in a sweetless, treatless prison
making license plates for life.
I know you pity them.
Innocent and free you will let them be.
But, to my cardboard home under the bridge,
should they stray.
I’ll roast ‘em!