Dear Marilyn Manson,

I do not believe that I would be the first person to tell you that rumors have swirled surrounding the Twins of Evil Tour. I was lucky enough to go to one show in Upstate New York. I don’t ever want to be that girl who gushes and says cringe-worthy things to the musicians they like. I had a really great time and I was able to actually get very close to the stage because I have a wheelchair, so concert workers let me move up close because it’s really hard to see anything when you’re a petite woman in a wheelchair with a bunch of people standing up and obstructing your view. That was amazing and I wanted to point out that I actually have some sensory issues, they affect my vision and so the idea of being surrounded by flashing lights made me a little bit nervous. So, I brought my mom who was nice enough to drive me to the concert and stay with me during the show in case I needed anything. My mom actually really enjoyed the show as well. She says that I have not converted her to being a fan of metal, but she did admire the effort that was put into the performance.

And I guess that’s what I wanted to bring up. I’m an artist too. Words are my chosen medium. Being a creative person has its downside; it is a lot of pressure to create, and you always wonder if what you’ve done is going to be good enough or who’s going to give a shit about something that you have put your heart and soul into.

I know that I can write from the comfort of my own home. Right now, I’m sitting in my computer chair in an old hoodie and a pair of leggings as I type this. I can be my lovely, introverted, shy little self and only pop out of the shadows when I feel it necessary. Musicians do not have that luxury. The lack of privacy in itself has to be incredible and take its toll on the mind and body.

I have a great deal of respect for the fact that despite being sick you actually got up and did your job. I came to the genre of metal rather late. Like a lot of teenagers, I was looking to be rebellious. I hung out with a lot of the, I guess what you consider, alternative kids. And some of these kids happened to get a reputation for being a little unsavory. my very best friend is actually someone I met in the lunchroom in 11th grade while listening to Dope Hat.

I had visited a fan forum to post about my experience, going to my first Marilyn Manson concert. Some of the posts by so-called “fans” were awful. These people act as if getting sick is a person’s choice. Or that being sick was somehow “lazy.” I’m 99% sure that if any of these people who said these things became ill, they would probably take off work or school, or pass off some of their responsibilities to another person. That’s a totally natural thing to do which not to put down it’s natural to need rest as every person’s body as well as your mind need time to recover from the stress of an illness. It’s really sad to me that someone would put their desire to be entertained over another person’s health and well-being. There are rumors swirling about the state of your health. As I’m writing this, the rumor is that you are in the hospital under the watchful eye of a doctor.

I feel that myself and others should take this as a lesson in dedication, as you have gone on with the tour despite being ill. That’s impressive. I have learned many things about art from you. I use my writing to discuss controversial topics. I love to make people think; I write about death, murder, and religion. I will never be afraid to be myself.

Thank you, and I sincerely hope you get well soon.