Restress On America’s Birthday
I have anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There is no easy way to say this, so I just went out on a limb and said it. It feels good to say it. It makes me feel relieved to know that on a normal basis it’s okay if things aren’t okay right away. It makes it alright to know that I can volunteer for the time being and not have to work. I will be working eventually, but I am starting small and trying to breathe. Breathing is good for you. At least, that’s what my therapist says. We work on breathing exercises. My state of mind is different than yours.
The littlest things bother me. I am sure little things bother you too, but does your cat going to the bathroom bother you? Does your daughter sleeping past 6 am bother you? Let’s see… Does going to the doctor bother you? What about going to sleep at night? Does that bother you? Does washing your hands bother you? I am just using some basic examples of things that bother me that I know shouldn’t bother me but still do. As a mom, I do a ridiculous amount of things that as humans we wouldn’t imagine doing. For example, my eldest daughter has impetigo right now. You don’t imagine yourself waking up and washing your hands, putting on an ointment to turn around and wash your hands again. Typically, you would wash your hands in the bathroom after going to the bathroom and call it good? Well… that’s what I would have normally done, but now I am in this all new hand hygiene routine. It’s insane. So much handwashing and hand sanitizing. But we can’t allow this to spread to her sister. That would be bad.
I am breathing right now. I started another term in college this week. But I got an A on my final for my previous class. I feel relieved and stressed at the same time. It’s a strange emotion. Let’s call it restress. Restress often creeps up on you when you least expect it. Tuesday, I volunteered for the first time. I really enjoyed it, but, honestly, I can’t imagine doing much more. What would be the perfect job? I am not entirely sure. But, I am looking forward to the next bunch of interviews I have. Soon, I will have the perfect job. Restress is on my mind now as well. My foot is asleep. I just finished an assignment for my new class.
But let me tell you, at the end of the day. I am the happiest woman I have been all day. Because my girls are sleeping and my mind can be at ease. My toddler daughter is now singing “Scooby-Doo, where are you?” I guess it’s time to call it quits.
Also, I am working on a new series coming. It’s called Dear Mom. I would like to invite you to comment on the thread here with a question you would like to write to your mom if you could. For example, Mom, why did I ever microwave turkey? Mom, why is cleaning the toilet necessary? Something silly. But something real, such as Mom, why are men so cruel?