January 30, 2005, is surely a day that I have never forgotten. The familiarity of inner struggle remains to be somewhat of a presence that originates from the years prior to that fateful fiery afternoon; in hindsight, a positive loss to me that represents freedom from a prison and the first of many works that the Lord has done throughout my life.

It is hard to imagine that it has been fifteen years since my house burnt down and I was able to break free from the man who made me a prisoner. I am so thankful that the Lord saved my soul and rescued me from such a situation. I had previously chosen never to speak on this but after so many years, I feel as if I want to. Women deserve the chance to tell their stories and writing has always been a particular healer for my soul.

The emotional ride that an abuser puts you through has a lasting effect. Trust has remained an issue throughout a lot of my life; especially with men, and it has even affected my relationship with Christ at some points; instead of a solid relationship, I liken it to that of a see-saw. I often make the mistake of fighting the battle or trying to fight on my own.  I have been attempting to talk with Him on a regular basis. No child should EVER have to endure any kind of abuse: physical, sexual, emotional,  or verbal. I trusted this man to be a parental figure in place of my father, and he let me down in the most devastating way. The fear instilled, the manipulation, and the nasty behavior just makes one wonder: what kind of a person does that to someone else?

Christ was the sole reason that I got out of that situation and I am thriving (for the most part). I am a survivor. I have moments where I am a roller coaster and for that, I have begun to trust Christ with my healing. I’ve been saved for over fifteen years and I sometimes feel as though I still try to steal control from Him. I like to do my own thing. I am grateful that Christ has stood by me no matter what. I strive to help anyone who may be going through an abusive situation, or anyone who might have experienced a similar situation; there’s so much you can do for someone just by choosing not to be silent. Time has flown by, but I am so thankful for my Savior.