Hi Reader!

Yes, I’m talking to you. I’ve racked my brain with what’s right about this week. And then I realized I could give you some of the best advice that I’ve ever received.

First, get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

For those who don’t know, I’ve been attending Alcoholics Anonymous for a few months. And things are rocky. Some personal life issues have what you need to have a momentary lapse in judgment where you consume half a bottle of wine and two shots of Jim Beam. This might not seem like a lot to some people, but with six months sober, my tolerance has decreased. I don’t remember the night in its entirety.
I did the only thing I thought I could do in that state and went to an online meeting while drunk. Learning that a lot of my drinking was because I didn’t want to deal with real life. I didn’t want to deal with the trials and tribulations of family and relationships.

I didn’t want to deal with my confusion about my sexuality. Drinking vodka made flirting and getting physically intimate more effortless because I could relax and turn off those voices in my head that told me what I was doing was wrong. Drinking made me feel numb; school was scary. I would drink. I remember on days when I had finals, day drinking became a way to do simple things, like turn in the paper and I remember stealing a six-pack of Yuengling lager and getting drunk before an Ethics final. It comes as no surprise that I failed the final.

Having no coping skills to deal with the pain of my chronic illness, nor did I want to deal with the trauma experienced by abuse.

The best thing I can do is learn to be uncomfortable as I progress in life. Being uncomfortable is what’s going to make new experiences happen. Being uncomfortable could be what in which is my life, where I learn and grow as a person. Being uncomfortable could save my life because I’m afraid of doctors.
Tomorrow I will undergo a painful medical procedure, and I’m going to be uncomfortable beyond words. Still, I have to learn to deal with it in real life.

As far as being a student goes, I know my grades have improved since I’ve stopped drinking. Even though school makes me nervous because I’ve never been the type of person who gets straight A’s without studying and social anxiety can make dealing with peers and professors difficult. Still, the only thing I can really do is learn to be uncomfortable.

Learning to be uncomfortable in my relationship will strengthen it because my partner and I will learn together to function as a team. I’m learning to be uncomfortable so that I can stay sober.

I will get off my soapbox. Now. Do something out of your comfort zone today.

Thank You,

Keely