Born In Light XV
I was hiding. I knew I was hiding, but I couldn’t help myself. The amount of punishment I had received while attempting to bond with Ethan the first time scared the crap out of me. Let’s not forget the fear of how close we were getting, how much my feelings for him were growing.
No, Ellie, you have no feelings for the man. I stopped my pacing and looked at the floor, my hands clenching. But why? Why can’t I? Was it because he was an arrogant prick? Or was it my fear of getting to close to someone, only to have them ripped away from me?
It could be that the people that had been entrusted with my care had left me to burn alive in a fire, so I had a hard time trusting anyone now. That might be it.
But Ethan, he was different. At first, we didn’t get along that well, I know, but after seeing alternate sides of him, after seeing how caring he could be and that he really did just want me safe. The wall around my heart was starting to break down. Brick by brick, it was coming apart, and it scared me shitless.
It had been a few days since I had laid in his home recovering. Michael had come a few times to visit, and the medics kept the door swinging. Ethan was an ever-present shadow while they worked, only moving closer when Michael was there. He didn’t press me, he didn’t force me to talk about anything uncomfortable. He somehow knew I needed space to work through all of my frantic thoughts.
But today, I’d felt good enough to get up and start out on my own. Early in the morning, I snuck from his place, and high tailed it towards the dorms. He was there before I could even take a step inside, waiting for me in the lobby.
My usual response kicked in, and I spun, making my way towards the library where I’ve been since then. Reading here and there, researching what was happening with our bonding. Eating was out of the question, I didn’t dare venture outside. He hadn’t found me yet, so I didn’t want to give him an edge. It must be the books, they gave off that old musty smell so he couldn’t find my scent. If that’s what he did at all, anyways.
My pacing took me to a corner with a large comfy chair. I pinched the bridge of my nose and flopped down into it, a small cloud of dust floating upwards as I did so. The light from the windows glinted off the tiny particles, and I watched as they slowly fell back to the ground.
A momentary flight, a brief glimpse of the sun before being pulled back into the reality of their useless struggle. I shook my head, it’s dust, stop personifying dust, Ellie.
My eyes closed, and I slumped further into the cushions as my mind went completely dark. No thoughts raced through for once, nothing to keep my anxiety going. It was beautiful, the feeling of weightlessness that overtook me.
A spark caught my attention, a small light that flickered in and out before me. I looked around, the darkness still encompassing my body. Was I dreaming? Had I fallen asleep in that colossal chair?
A voice, it called to me. Ellie! I turned back towards the spark and started to walk towards it. As it grew closer, I felt the warmth on my skin. It wasn’t unpleasant, more like a memory of kindness and love that embraced me. My feet came to a stop, and the small light bounced almost happily within my reach.
I heard the voice again, it was closer this time. Find your light Ellie, take your light! I turned back towards the small spark and reached a hand out. The moment my fingers touched the little thing, it flared to life, tendrils dancing and weaving throughout the darkness around me. It shone brilliant and strong, engulfing the cold from without. Images of Ethan flew past me, of us talking, arguing. Of him watching me with terrified eyes as I was thrown across the arena again and again. Of him caring for me as I healed, his hands gentle and loving, doing all he could to help.
I felt his fear, his anger at himself for letting it happen. I felt his resoluteness that I was his.
I felt his love.
It overwhelmed me, the light like a flame spun around my body like a tornado, my hair whipping upwards. I recognized this flame, it was Ethan’s. I could feel it as it seeped into my skin, becoming one with my essence. I held his flame within me, could this be the answer? Could it be what we’d been looking for? In an instant, the light blinked from existence as the remaining fire melted within me. The images faded, and I was left alone in the darkness of my mind once more.
A gasp tore itself from my throat, and I flew out of the chair. My hands moved frantically over my body, feeling the flames still there. A small amount of light caught my eyes as it moved through my veins. Weird, but cool, I thought to myself, and I turned my head towards the library door. It opened with a slam, and I caught sight of the man who tore inside like a hurricane.
Ethan had found me, I knew he would eventually. I wasted no time; with my new revelation, I didn’t fear anymore. I didn’t question fate any longer.
“Ethan!” I ran towards him as he turned to face me. His eyes frantic, and his arms outstretched as I launched myself into them.
“Ellie! What in the-” He was about to go off on me, but I silenced him with my finger.
“Shush, I’m not afraid anymore, Ethan. I know now what I need to do.” He looked at my face, his eyes searching. He must have found something because a grin spread across his face then.
“What do you want to do then?”
“Let’s get that Dragon of yours to heel.” His smile only widened, and he took my hand and lead me out the door.