Get up, I urged myself for the hundredth time. The sun had risen to greet the world, and yet I lingered, pretending to sleep. In part because I could. I was free to do as I pleased. Had I wanted to linger in bed until nightfall, I had the freedom to do so. But the truth was that I did not want to see her. Her melancholy smile, her slow gait, her relentless attempts at joy would undo me. Mara, who thought she’d lost everything at the hands of the King, had lost it all to me. She was restless in her care for me. From the moment we met, she fawned over me, was preoccupied with my well-being. It was Calum all over again.

Didn’t I tell you? You’ll know only darkness all the days of your life. You are tainted a blight on this world, Maynard’s voice hissed from within the depths of my soul. Shut up.

But his words were true. I was tainted, and he made sure of it. Over and over again. Perhaps coming to Haven’s End was a bad idea. Or perhaps I should have never left the castle. I could have let Maynard kill me, and then my suffering would be over. And I’d never have the chance to harm anyone else with my existence.

A loud knock startled me. When you’re not a tortured prisoner, people ask for permission to enter your space. I was going to have to get used to that.

“Rise and shine there, sweet lad!” called a joyful voice. “The sun’s risen, and it looks like it going to be a beautiful day!”

A smile spread across my face without my permission. Her jubilation was infectious. Her warmth radiated through the door and lit up the room. She was sunshine walking the earth.

I made my way out of the bed, still in my clothes from the day before, and reached for my staff. Leaning against it, I hobbled over to the door to let her in.

“Good morning, Dasha,” I greeted her as I opened the door. Where’s Mara?

“Good morning, Darling!” she sang. “Oh, dear, look at you. Well, you need a good washing up. And a Healer. Come, come.” She went around and put her hand on my shoulder and guided me out of the room. Her movements were slow and measured; I could tell to accommodate me.

“The washroom is at the opposite end of the hall. But we’ll take it nice and slow,” she cooed. She was so warm. It rolled off her in waves, and the air shimmered around her.

“Here we are,” she said, opening the door to the small washroom. It was decorated with sprigs of white sage and dried lavender, just like downstairs. The scent was comforting. “Get yourself washed up. Do you have something clean to change into?” she asked, taking her hands off my shoulders. Dasha took a step back, starting to leave me.

“Uh, yes. I have clothes back in the room.”

“I can grab those for you. Unless, of course, you need some help in here?” she asked, her face still bright.

“No!” My face was hot with embarrassment. “No, that’s not necessary. I can manage.”

“Nonsense! You can barely walk. Come now. At least let me help you get these off.” She reached towards my shirt, and my body tensed. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, and my heart stopped hard. No. Please don’t. Please don’t.

Dasha’s hand stopped, suspended on its journey towards me. Her smile faltered.

“Please don’t,” I whispered, my eyes to the floor.

“Oh, sweetheart. Please forgive me,” she retracted her hand and held it to her chest.

“No, I mean, it’s not you, Dasha. I just…I just can’t…”

“That’s okay, dear,” she smiled again, but it was different. It wasn’t her smile that seemed lit by the sun. It was a softer smile. It was tender and kind. “We all have our boundaries and our reasons for them. We all have a little darkness that lingers in our hearts. Sometimes we carry it, and sometimes it carries us. I’ll bring your clothes. Call for me when you’re done, and I’ll help you downstairs.” She turned away and started to walk back towards the room.

“Wait,” I called out to her, my hand reached out for her. She turned back around, still smiling. “How is it that you’re so cheerful? You’re always smiling and filled with joy. I find myself smiling around you without realizing it.”

Dasha’s smile lit up brighter.

“Really? Well, that’s wonderful!” she squealed and clapped her hands. “I do my best to spread joy in this joyless world.”

“But where does it come from?” She was so different from Mara, who, despite all her efforts, could not conceal her sadness. If she was the clouds in the sky, Dasha was the sun.

“I don’t think the washroom is the best place to tell that story,” she chuckled. “I’ll give you the short-ish version. I lived in a small farming village, about a two days’ ride from the castle. It was just my father and me on our modest farm. My mother had perished in child-birth and my baby sister soon after. We were attacked by the King’s Guard once. Our farm set aflame, much of the village destroyed. I’ll never forget it. They had a sorceress with them. You could tell she’d once been a real beauty. But the cruelty she’s sure to have endured at the hands of those scoundrels washed that away. It seemed they had robbed her of her will to live. They forced her to use her Magic to attack us. She aimed an attack at my father, and I jumped in front of him and took the attack. I became Cursed. The Guard camped outside of our ruined village for the night. The sorceress snuck away in the middle of the night. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, but there was no emotion in her eyes. ‘Have a Healer make a potion from the hair of a unicorn foal. It shall lift the Curse.’”

“My father thanked her and guided her back to the encampment so she wouldn’t get caught betraying the guard. However, no one had seen a unicorn foal in years. The King had all but annihilated the unicorns. Our Healer did the best he could to keep me alive. My father was furious with me for taking that Curse for him. But his anger looked a lot like frightened tears and feverish pleas. About two weeks after the attack, right when it seemed that all hope for me was lost, a unicorn foal wandered into our village, guided by a wee fairy! She said she’d led it away from the castle. Our Healer made the potion, and here I am! How could I not be cheerful? A fairy and a unicorn saved me! I’m filled with the magical equivalent of pure love and joy!” Her face beamed with genuine delight.

“A fairy, you say?” It couldn’t be, I thought. Was it Linnea?

“Yes! She was a tiny thing with long, amber hair,” her hands mimicked waves flowing down from her head. “And she led the frightened foal right to us. The sorceress must have told her about me. I’m lucky to be alive. Rescued by a brave fairy and her mystical steed!” Dasha giggled.

“And your father?”

“Manning a small farm that provides the produce for Haven’s End. He’s old and cantankerous, working far too hard for a man his age. You’ll hear him come in every now and then, complaining and fussing about this or that. Now wash up, sweetheart. I’ll bring your clothes.” She stepped out of the washroom and closed the door. I could hear her steps as she walked away.

Linnea saved her. No, Nox. You saved her by saving that unicorn foal. Linnea’s voice whispered from my heart.

I was quick about getting myself cleaned up. And as she promised, Dasha had left my clothes in a neat, folded pile in a basket just outside the door. My walking staff was propped up against the wall next to them. After getting dressed, I limped down the hall towards the stairs. The din from the dining room, and the rich smell of Dasha’s cooking rising to greet me. I strained to hear the one voice I wondered about. Mara’s shaky, unsure voice was not among them.

Where is she? But in the same breath, I thought—but, do you actually want to see her?

“So, what do you make of our new addition?” An unknown voice asked.

“He’s a sweet young lad,” Dasha’s voice carried its way up. “He’s been hurt, much like many of us. But it seems his horrors are great. All we can do is be patient with him and give him space.”

“Mara was the one to greet him at the gate, right?” Another voice asked.

“Indeed, she was.”

“Have you seen her today? She tends to hover for a while when she has a newcomer.”

I started my precarious descent, staff first, right leg, left leg. Staff, right, left. Staff, right, left.

The thumping of my staff on the stairs alerted Dasha.

“What are you doing?” she scolded. “Didn’t I tell you to call for me when you were done?”

“It’s fine,” I called back from the stairs. Staff, right, left. Staff, right, left. “I’m almost down anyway.” Staff, right, left. Staff, right, left.

Dasha shook her head at me, her smile full and bright.

“Have um… you heard from Mara, this morning?” I asked when I made it to the bottom. The Willow’s patrons stopped their conversations, and they were all staring at me.

“I’m here, Nox,” she said from the doorway. Everyone turned to face her. Any façade of happiness she had before had completely fallen away. Her face showed her true emotions. Pain, sorrow, and regret twisted with confusion, and she wore it with pride. “I’ve brought the Healer. But I want to talk to you first.”

Damn.