Read parts One through Twenty-Two here

***Trigger Warnings for mentions of abuse and suicide***

As I walked back through town, Cyrus’s words bounced around in my mind. So much happened, and none of it is what I needed. I was as Healed as I could get, and I would have a supply of potion that would help me through any episodes the Affliction could send me into. Cyrus was offering me a way to exist permanently in Haven’s End. He was giving me a purpose and a place to settle. A home. A place to belong. People to care about, and people to care about me.

I wanted to be weak. I yearned to thrust the nightmares of Maynard out of my soul, and push prophecy from my mind. The life I’d always wanted was within my grasp. I could claim it with a single word. I had that power. Cyrus told me that we’d finish our conversation at another time, and to think about his offer. And it was all I could think about. The visions of a life swirled around me—a life I could not have.

As I approached The Willow, I felt a strange pull in the pit of my stomach. Something in the air felt different, and it set my teeth on edge. Something is wrong.

Dasha paced outside. She seemed upset.

“Are you all right?” I asked as I got close to her. She gasped, stopping in her tracks and hand flying to her chest.

“Nox!” she swatted my chest. “You scared the sense out of me!”

“I’m sorry. What’s wrong? You seem upset.”

“I uh…” her voice quivered, and her eyes looked away from me. Dasha was shrinking away from me. She wanted to crawl into the ground and disappear.

“Did somebody hurt you?” My free hand reached out and grabbed her shoulder. My stomach dropped to my knees at the possibility that Dasha could be harmed.

“Oh, you’re so sweet.” She covered my hand with hers. Her brilliant smile flashed for a moment before fading away behind the clouds of her emotions. “I’m not hurt. I’m just… It’s just that… Mara was here. She came by a few minutes after you’d gone. She looked… disturbed. Her hair was frazzled, and her eyes were so empty, as though her soul had left her body. She asked to come in for a chat, and I sat her down at the bar and fixed her a drink.” Dasha’s hand left mine, and she stepped back from me. My hand slipped from her shoulder, and I let it fall to my side. “Before I could ask her anything, she started talking. But none of what she said made any sense. She kept talking about her husband and the life she lost. She talked about knowing how to get it all back, knowing what she had to do, and it frightened me. I told her that she should wait for you so you two could talk.”

“Is this when the argument happened?” I asked with a chill in my spine.

“Not exactly. She did say she wanted to speak with you. But it was the way she said it. I tell you, there was no light in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong, and she just looked at me. I told her to wait for you, that you’d be back soon. She said she wanted to speak with you alone—out in the woods outside of town.”

“All right then,” I made to turn around and go to find Mara.

“No!” Dasha grabbed my shoulders. I turned to look at her. “Don’t go. Something is wrong with her. She was unhinged, and she may hurt you. She thinks you killed her husband. What if she lashes out again?”

I sighed.

“I killed her husband, Dasha.”

“No, you didn’t. You think you did because of whatever circumstances surrounding what happened that day,” Dasha said. Her eyes were glassy, her voice shaking with unshed tears. “You wanted to give her an answer.”

“I wish that were true. I did kill him, Dasha.” Dasha backed away from me, shock and fear splashed across her face. “I told you I’m not safe—that I’m Darkness.”

“I don’t believe that,” Dasha looked at me, tears free-falling down her face. She retreated a few steps before running back into The Willow. “I don’t want to.”

I wanted to chase after her, but I had to walk away from her. I had to see Mara. We needed to clear this up, and she deserved what closure she needed from me. There had to be something I could give her—something I could do that would give her some semblance of peace.

The walk to the woods felt like walking through hot sand. The streets of Haven’s End felt empty. The people milling about disappeared. Their voices came to me as though my head was underwater.

What punishment did she have in store for me? Would she make me watch as she burned down a village, or slaughter a family of unicorns? Perhaps she would rip off an innocent fairy’s wings who made the mistake of loving me. Or she would give me the worst punishment of all. She would make me face my own horrors, the ones that I committed. As much as I fought against it, Maynard tainted me. I was a force for evil, and all I could do was follow my destiny and do my part to take Darkness from the world. Even if that included me.

Mara was waiting for me deep in the woods. She stood at the edge of the world, silhouetted by the sky. The sun shone down on her and bathed her in bright, golden light.  She wore a thin, white dress that floated around her in the breeze. Her hair hung down to the middle of her back. It looked soft, and I fought the urge to reach out and touch it. She seemed like an apparition, a lonely ghost waiting to find peace. The thumps of my staff reverberated off the trees and alerted her to my presence.

“Thank you for coming,” she said to the valley, her back still to me. I didn’t know how to answer her. She turned to face me, and Dasha was right. There was no light in her eyes, no soul in her gaze. Looking at her made my blood freeze in my veins.

“Mara, I—”

“You are going to tell me what I want to know. I don’t care how you feel or whatever happens to you when you’re upset.”

I looked to the ground, my head heavy with shame.

“I understand.”

“And I want you to look at me. Eyes up.” I lifted my head. “Good. You will look at me the whole time. I won’t keep you long.”

“I understand.”

“Tell me what happened. Everything.”

I took a deep breath and tightened the grip on my staff. The words caught in my throat.  I opened my mouth to speak, but the words wouldn’t come. You took everything from her, and you can’t give her this? 

“Not everything,” I answered, my eyes fell to the ground again.

“Eyes up, I said!” Her yell echoed around us. I snap my eyes back to her. Her fists were clenched at her side and were shaking. “Talk. Now.”

Though her voice was full of ire, her expression held no emotion. The silence held us for a few moments, cradling us in tense, heart-wrenching pain. I wanted to tell her everything she wanted. So much.

“Please,” she pleaded after more moments of silence. A single tear slid down her face, and I couldn’t hold the words back any longer.

“I was raised as the king’s prisoner. He tortured me every day of my life. Brought me to the brink of death and insanity. He did all manner of evil and horrific things to me. He was grooming me to be his successor, and he tried to train me to be as ruthless as he is.” Stop.

“Did that include killing people?”

“Sometimes. Those were more often punishments,” my chest was tight. “When I disobeyed him, he punished me with more torture or murder.” I hate this.

“Was Warrick a punishment?”

“He was brought to the castle as a criminal. The king called him a traitor and said I needed to execute him. When I refused, he brought out a mother of young children who’d done nothing. The king told me that if I didn’t kill one of them, he’d kill both of them. Your husband sacrificed himself for her.” I don’t want to do this anymore.

“That sounds like something he would do. Did he suffer?”

“No. it was fast.”

“You must have been so young.”

“I don’t know how old I am. But he was very shocked that the king would have a child do this deed. It’s what he said.”

“Did he suffer?”

“No. It was quick.”

“Was yours the last face he saw?”

“Yes.” I felt hollow. Part of my dark secret confessed to the world, and it was lost into the void that Mara had become. The air around us was thin, and I was shivering despite the warm sun.

“That’s good. It’ll be the last face I see too.”

“Mara….”

She started walking backwards, towards the edge of the cliff.

“Don’t look away,” she said.

“No,” I said as I realized what she was doing. “Don’t!” I started to walk towards her.

“Keep looking at me. I want to see what he saw.”

“Please don’t do this.” I was so close.  Just a few more inches. 

“I have to,” she whispered. “It’s the only way the pain will stop.” And for the first time since I’d met her, she was happy. Her eyes were filled with true joy and peace as she smiled at me.

“Take my hand. Come back to The Willow with me.” My hand was stretched out towards her. I never needed anything more than for her to grab my hand. Please take my hand.

Mara shook her head at me, fat silent tears rolling down her face. She took a few more steps backwards.

“Please, Mara.”

She threw her arms wide, and her body started to lean back off the edge towards oblivion. “I’m coming, Warrick.”