Coffee House Writers

Top Menu

Main Menu

  • Home
  • Article Categories
    • Creativity
    • Culture
    • Design
    • Family
    • Fashion
    • Fiction
    • Food
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Home
    • Lifestyle
    • Memories
    • Nonfiction
    • Poetry
    • Politics
    • Relationships
    • Sports
    • Style
    • Technology
    • Travel
  • About Us
    • Our Story
    • Our Founder
  • Meet Our Admin
    • Chief Editors
    • Editors
    • Poetry Editors
    • Advertising Team
    • Recruiting Team
  • Testimonials
  • Apply
  • Login

logo

Coffee House Writers

  • Home
  • Article Categories
    • Creativity
    • Culture
    • Design
    • Family
    • Fashion
    • Fiction
    • Food
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Home
    • Lifestyle
    • Memories
    • Nonfiction
    • Poetry
    • Politics
    • Relationships
    • Sports
    • Style
    • Technology
    • Travel
  • About Us
    • Our Story
    • Our Founder
  • Meet Our Admin
    • Chief Editors
    • Editors
    • Poetry Editors
    • Advertising Team
    • Recruiting Team
  • Testimonials
  • Apply
  • Login
  • Calm Seas

  • Dreams Change: Life Continues

  • Gardening: The Ultimate Stress-Relieving Activity for Better Health

  • Visiting the Arboretum

  • The King

  • Time

  • Mr. Keith’s House – Part VI

  • I’ll Never Live Up to the Call

  • Skinchangers Chapter 2.2

  • Behind Your Mirror

  • A Gap In Time – 1

  • Saying Goodbye to NCIS: Los Angeles After 14 Years

  • Love’s Cut

  • A New York Summer

  • Welcome to Hell: How Can I Help You?

  • Paradise Falls: Chapter 1

  • Cloaked Miracles, Part 3

  • A New Home

  • Unlock Your Hidden Potential: How to Tackle an Extraordinary Challenge with Ease

  • Appreciate Your Talent

  • Writing With ADHD: How Hard Could it be?

  • Southern Ways – Part 1

  • Skinchangers Chapter 2.1

  • The Book

  • The Familiar Mask

  • The Mystery of Cash Castle: Part 14

  • Shivering Leaves

  • Calming the Chaos of the Heavy Mental Load

  • Paradise Falls: Prologue

  • May Flowers

CultureFamilyRelationshipsHealthNonfiction
Home›Culture›Grief On Pause || Dealing With Death In A Pandemic

Grief On Pause || Dealing With Death In A Pandemic

By Tish MacWebber
April 5, 2021
1312
0
Share:
Heart
Photo by Tish Mac Webber via Canva

Last week, I lost my grandmother, who we called Nanny. It was a shock, but I haven’t been able to just stop and process the loss for more than a few moments at a time since I got the news. It was preceded by the news of the loss of a friend, a mere 24 hours before my mom called. While I was in shock and saddened to hear the news, I had to put my grief on pause. Dealing with death in a pandemic is a whole new level of difficulty that nobody signed up for.

Death is something that has been increasingly prevalent in the world of today. It is something that many fantasize about escaping, to become immortal, while others long to make it their escape from their lives. Although I am not 100% certain about what I want to happen to my body after I die, I am no longer wasting my time fearing my own death. It will happen, I will not be in control of it when it does, and since it is something I am unable to control, I do not waste time dwelling on it. If you or someone you love is suicidal, please get help for yourself or for them. This article is not about suicide, but it would be negligent of me to write the above paragraph without including the previous statement.

I am religious, and I do believe in God. This is something that I may or may not have in common with you. I am not here to preach about religion. I am simply stating a fact in my life. My faith has gotten me this far, and I will continue to believe in what I feel in my heart to be true.

Losing a friend and a family member within 24 hours of each other is a lot to process, at any time, for anyone. Having it occur during a pandemic can make it feel unbearable or cause feelings of being detached at the same time. It is unbearable because we are not free to grieve with our close family and friends after losing a loved one in the pandemic. Detached because for some, this means there is no closure, with no service being held in the memory of their friend or family member. We have gone through several life changes during the past 13 months, and I know we are not done. How things will be when it is all over is uncertain. People are dying without their friends and family nearby. I know in my mind that Nanny is gone, but I don’t know if the news has reached my heart yet.

I go to an online Bible study group once a week. It is new for me, and I am still trying to find my bearings within the group. Last Wednesday, before I knew any of the bad news about my friend and Nanny, I was at the Bible study meeting. Something I said out loud still echoes in my mind. We read a passage from the Bible three times and have different focus prompts with each reading. When I listened for the third time, I said, “I am not supposed to be afraid of losing my loved ones because God will help me through it.” Little did I know that I would need to remind myself of this the very next morning.

I am hesitant to go back this week. If God speaks through me with this much clarity all of the time, it will be too much for me to handle. I do want to follow the path he has designed for my life, but this experience I had last week cut a little too close to my heart.

I have sleep apnea, but I do not use a machine when I sleep. Last week, after Bible study, I went to bed. At one point, I woke up gasping for air. I have never experienced this in my life before, and in my memory, I can honestly say I have never woken up hearing the word BREATHE in my mind as I was struggling for air. I don’t sleep on my back, and I think this is why I have never worried about not breathing while I am asleep. Someone or something woke me up because it is not my time to go yet. The bad news started the next morning. It is really hard not to connect all of these things in my mind as I think about them.

It is a lot to process. Throughout the week, I had to work. In fact, I had an obligation to uphold online right after I got the news about Nanny. I explained to my mom that it was too late for me to cancel the online interview I had agreed to, and I let her know that I was going to honor my obligation. She understood. I held myself together and didn’t tell the other person that anything was wrong because I was in shock and because I needed to be present at the moment to fulfill the obligation. I talked about it a little with my colleagues, and some online friends, and of course, some of my family members. Talking about my feelings has never been difficult for me to do. When I finally let myself feel what I need to feel, I am less coherent, and I cry. I am not ashamed of my tears. It is healthy to cry sometimes, and especially about losing a friend or family member.

How am I coping now, almost a week later? I am okay. I have shared a bit on social media because I share a lot of my life online, and it helps me to connect with friends online when I can’t see them in person. I have shed some tears, thankfully at home, where only my husband and cat have seen me crying. I have had moments when I was on the verge of tears in the last week, but as the title says, I put my grief on pause because I have obligations and responsibilities that required me to present myself to the public in a personable matter. Nobody wants to see the ugly cry. However, if you have lost a friend or family member in the last year, with all of the added stresses we are being forced to cope with right now, then it is perfectly fine to put your grief on pause while you go through the motions. It is not okay to lock it inside and throw away the key. Keeping things bottled up will fester like a splinter in your finger. If it is not taken care of. By letting yourself take a moment here and there, when you need to, you can pause to shed a few tears and then do what you have to do.

One last thought. If you do not let yourself process the feelings of grief, which are well documented as the five stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, you may have other issues at a later time. It is not healthy to keep it all inside, all of the time. There is no time limit for your grief. It is yours. If you need help to deal with grief, again, I want to encourage you to find help. It is not easy to ask for help for many people, but if you are in need of help, taking that first step is the hardest and most courageous thing that you can do for yourself, and for your friends and family who are still here.

Featured image by Tish MacWebber via Canva.

TagsgriefPauseReligionTish MacWebberdeathcopeCoffee House WritersbreatheMental HealthFaithpandemic
Previous Article

Holding Onto Love

Next Article

Nebraska’s Walgren Lake Monster

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Tish MacWebber

Tish Mac Webber's writing is her purpose, creativity is her passion, and jewellery designing is her pleasure. She is inspired by the ocean, especially where the Atlantic Ocean kisses the beaches of Cape Breton Island, where her own story began. She is the author who is Always Thinking... the jewellery designer who is Always Blinging...and her superpower is always being full of surprises! Tish MacWebber, Always Blinging… her jewellery designing hobby is the latest addition to her website. Her speciality is creating one of a kind, custom designs for her clients. She loves to delight her customers with her interpretations of what they order, staying true to her gifts of being full of surprises, and putting her talents to full use. In October 2018, her first book, From Where I am Sitting... A Collection of Cat Tales was published and is available on Amazon. It will be accompanied by her Limited Cat Tales Jewellery Collection, which can also be found on her website. Tish MacWebber is currently writing her second book, in which she will explore her latest concept. #Tishspiration, her latest creation, is defined as the art of surprising yourself. You can find more information about these and other projects at https://tishmacwebber.com/

Related articles More from author

  • nurse with needle
    EntertainmentFantasyHorrorThrillerCreativityFiction

    In Light of the Night Chapter Four

    April 4, 2022
    By Douglas Hoagland
  • Fairy with a galaxy body
    CreativityFictionFantasyEnvironmentPolitics

    The Fairy and the Sky

    March 28, 2022
    By Rachel Du Mont-Greenlee
  • long grain rice called basmati rice
    FamilyRelationshipsPoetryMemoriesHomeCultureFoodHealthLifestyleCreativity

    Two women sharing the same space

    July 18, 2022
    By Ritu Anand
  • empty grocery store shelves
    PoliticsCultureMediaFamilyEnvironmentHealthNonfiction

    Opinion – We Are Overreacting

    April 13, 2020
    By Alena Orrison
  • MemoriesHomeHealthLifestyleFamilyRelationships

    Losing a Pet – In Memory of Pasquale

    November 25, 2019
    By Lindsey Taylor
  • Farmville Civil Rights Protester, August 16, 1963
    PoliticsCultureCreativityFictionPoetryMemories

    Within: Without

    February 27, 2019
    By rc360

Leave a reply Cancel reply

You may be interested

  • journal with a pen
    EntertainmentHistoryCreativityRelationshipsFictionRomance

    My Darling Clementine: Part 12

  • edited paper
    CreativityNonfictionBusiness

    How to Self-Edit

  • Photo Credit @ Free-Photos
    Creativity

    25 Reasons Why I Write

Timeline

  • June 5, 2023

    Calm Seas

  • June 5, 2023

    Dreams Change: Life Continues

  • June 5, 2023

    Gardening: The Ultimate Stress-Relieving Activity for Better Health

  • June 5, 2023

    Visiting the Arboretum

  • June 5, 2023

    The King

Latest Comments

  • Ivor Steven
    on
    June 8, 2023
    Thank you kind words, I appreciate your enthusiasm for my poem

    Behind Your Mirror

  • D.Y. Freeman
    on
    June 6, 2023
    I really love this poem. Well written, well done!

    Behind Your Mirror

  • Ivor Steven
    on
    June 1, 2023
    A wonderfully thought provoking poem Ynes … "You may never know what results of your actions, ...

    I’ll Never Live Up to the Call

  • Behind Your Mirror, Is in this weeks Coffee House Magazine – Ivor.Plumber/Poet
    on
    May 29, 2023
    […] Hello dear readers and followers, I am now back writing for “Coffee House Writers” magazine, ...

    Behind Your Mirror

  • Qalupalik: Child-Snatching Water Hag Of Inuit Folklore – LoreThrill
    on
    May 18, 2023
    […] - Astonishing Legends Alaska’s Qalupalik - Coffee House Writers The Inuit Sea Monster, The Qalupalik ...

    Alaska’s Qalupalik

Find us on Facebook

About us

  • coffeehousewriters3@gmail.com

Follow us

© Copyright 2018-2023 Coffee House Writers. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s administrator and owner is strictly prohibited.