Hate Keeps A Man Alive
Trigger Warning: Abuse, Murder, Hallucination
Hate keeps a man alive. It keeps him going. And James is full of it. He’ll no doubt live a long time, and he’ll hate her, all the days of his life. When he does die, his soul will go on to hate her. He vows to haunt her, to gaslight her. In death, James would see to it that she believes herself crazy, that she second-guesses her common sense and intuition. His plan is to make sure that she knows that it, all of it, is entirely her fault. After all, she was never supposed to leave. He’d told her that and reinforced it. It’s not like she didn’t know the rules.
Once, she told him about a dream. In the vision, he was shot and killed over one of the many women he was cheating on her with. These days, he replays that warning over and over again in his head. There were times now when he went in search of this mystery woman whose WAP was so addictive that he’ll drown in it. A part of him wants to die, to speed up the curse. He wants her to suffer.
Now that she’s gone, he often thinks back on how her neck felt in his hands. He should have kept squeezing. It would have been so easy. With one hand, James could have ended all of his troubles. He wonders what stopped him. He wishes that whatever it was, hadn’t stopped him. He would be free by now, free from her spell, free from her love. She was doing it all on purpose.
When the wind blew across his face and pushed the smell of her up his nose, he knew it was her. The scent made him vomit at work. She intentionally caused the sun to shine on him. It sparked something in his chest, similar to what he felt when she used to smile at him. Except now, it hurt. It blinds him and burns his skin. As a result, he keeps to himself these days. The drapes he pulls tight, trying only to go out at night.
But seasons change. The chill in the air reminds him of her cold fingertips. He feels them all over his body. “Stop! Stop! Get off me!” he screams, patting away at his face, his back, his head.
James’ sisters blame her for their brother’s decline. They knew she wasn’t right for him the moment he brought her home. Too nice. Too quiet. Too funny acting. Who did she think she was? Only James’ mother knew who she was, but only because she knew her son. She saw the difference.
Now it was too late. Too late for James. Too late for the woman he had decided to want. Vengeance is what he vows. And he’ll get it.
Hate keeps a man alive. James has enough to last him a long, long time.