I Can Breathe Again
One day we were the best of friends, everything was okay, we talked on the phone every night, texted during the days. It was going beautifully, or so I thought. Things started dwindling, and you ignored my calls. I was being put on the back burner more and more frequently. There was less time to talk. It took a while for me to notice this, maybe that’s why it seemed so sudden.
When I finally realized what happened, it was too late. The friendship was over, and I would reach out to you and get nothing in return. I would hear things about you and your life, but they would never come directly from you, only through the grapevine. I reached out to you, tried to push my way back in your life, but there was no point anymore.
You already let go, our friendship was great at one point, and now it’s dwindled into nothingness. It’s done, it’s over, and there’s nothing to stop things.
The world came crashing down when you were gone. It was helplessness. What was I to do? Where was I to turn? I realized soon that everything was about me. Wasn’t it? No, that doesn’t sound right. My investment into you was surreal.
I backed away and took a look into everything, and our friendship was false from the beginning. There was never any real care, no real love. You always created feelings of doubt. I thought it was me. I thought I screwed things up. I didn’t.
It’s hard to screw up something that was never real. You were never a friend, and you were never someone I needed. You created a dependency in my mind that I needed you. I never did. I needed more faith in myself. I needed to learn to love myself.
You hindered that. You made sure I was always two steps back. If I started accelerating, any time my life was on track, you would pull me back. That was never a friendship. There was never anything. That was not what I wanted out of any of this.
I wanted to help, care, love, and be a good friend to you. You never allowed it. Everything was a constant, “Woe is me” party until I joined you. Crying every night was a habit because you forced it to be one.
The music played every night with your terrible singing was never a great time. It was never fun for anyone, except you. You always had fun, didn’t you? Did you enjoy coming into people’s lives? You look back now, and there’s nothing but train wrecks. You left things in shambles.
What you’ve failed to realize, people picked themselves up. We never needed you, and we cleared ourselves of your dark energy. We put our lives back together, and without you, they’ve been better. They’ve been calmer, happier, more energetic. You sucked the life out of people, but when you left, it was an improvement.
I can breathe again.