This is an open letter to my best friend and sister who passed away this past February 2017. I wanted to write this letter to her and share the many emotions I have felt since her loss. She was someone so special whom I will always carry in my heart. However, since her passing, I have been dealing with the grief of her loss. It has taken me awhile to put what I wanted to say to her together but I also hope that what I have to say could help someone else feeling similarly.

Dear Sister,

I still can’t believe you are gone. I know it sounds like a bad way to begin a letter, but it’s true. I go over everything that happened when I got the call that early afternoon in February. I am finding it harder as the time passes on. Why? I keep asking. Why did you have to go? Okay, so you were sick. But still, you had so much life in you. No matter how hard it got, you always had a smile. Even on those days that it got intense, your spirit was always fighting and never wavered.

Now all the memories we share live within me. When I go to sleep at night, I play them over and over in my head. From the moment we met in Elementary school when my younger sister, Francis, fell off her bike. I still remember how you came to her rescue and helped her. This was the beginning of our friendship. We were both in 4^th grade and after that, the three of us were inseparable.

My sister, you were there for my family and so was your beautiful mother. The both of you helped us so much while dealing with our own drama at home and made our days brighter by taking us with you all so we could enjoy some time away from the pain we had.

Now all I do since you left is ask God to guide me when I tear up and cry. I also ask for patience when I get angry because I miss you so much.

Sometimes I catch myself looking at my phone and wanting to call you as I always did since I moved away those many years ago.

But it didn’t matter how far we were, talking with you over the phone was always like you were right there with me. I love how much we vented about our days and talked about the shows we really enjoyed on TV. How I miss you!

The other day I recalled our love of music and singing. I loved how many called us The Red Roses. First, it seemed silly but then the name caught on with us. It made us feel special and even though many years passed, many close friends and family still called us that.

Then came the moment when you met the love of your life and you had a wonderful baby boy together. I was so happy for you! I have to say your son has turned into a wonderful young man of faith, and it was due to the both of you being the best parents to him.

Look my dear sister, I do believe you are in a better place. But I miss you. We all do. I do believe we will be together again one day, but I still want to see you. It does comfort me when I close my eyes and feel your spirit near me. I just want to hug you, and tell you one last time how much I love you, and I wish I could have been there with you.

Right now I am working on remaining strong and taking it one day at a time. It’s not fair for me to think of my own pain when I know your family and loved ones are working through their own. But I just had to tell you how I felt. No matter how much time passes you will always be my sister, our sister, and I will always love you and carry you with me throughout the rest of my days.

Love always, your sister,

Sylvia