Magic at the Walton Table

I first discovered Magic: The Gathering (MTG) thirty years ago. For the last twenty years, I’ve wanted to write a column on fun deck builds for Magic. I’d given up for a while after InQuest magazine went out of business. The idea kept festering in my head, despite people discouraging me from trying.
Then, the Phyrexia All Will Be One set came out. I figured out how to write about deck building in a way that differs from what had already been done. This set brought back a win condition I had tried to use in decks I built in previous sets. The win condition is known as the poison counter. If a player gets ten poison counters, they lose no matter how many life points they have.
It functions better thanks to a creature ability called Toxic X in this set. The ability works by giving players dealt damage by creatures with the ability X poison counters. An X is the number after the keyword ‘toxic.’
A newer ability, known as Proliferate, applies to poison counters, allowing it to function better. Proliferate will add one to each counter on your side of the board. In the new form, it does that and adds one poison to your opponent’s side, provided they have at least one already.
Hence the deck being called Pumping Poison. This deck isn’t meant to win major championships, but can be fun, and gets laughs while being annoying at regular game night gatherings.
In the opening rounds of the game, it aims to give your opponent or opponents, a poison counter. You should have plenty of land by the time that is accomplished.
This allows spells that give all your creatures +1/+1 counters to be used. When combined with spells and abilities, you can take advantage of the Proliferate ability. It can increase your creature’s strength to block and attack while giving your opponent more poison with little effort.
When it fires off perfectly, this deck leaves your opponent(s) flooded with poison counters while looking at an army of giant creatures by turn four. Even when it doesn’t fire off perfectly, it is still a headache for your opponent (s) to deal with. When dealing with decks that were based on gaining life, this is a nice counter. Regardless, it will still be interesting and fun.
You can hold your ground with massive creatures that start out small, while lobbing poison counters over your opponent’s line of defense, do massive damage in a short time frame, or play the long game with poison.
The old saying “the luck of the draw”, applies to this deck as much as any deck. You’ll still have fun with this deck while keeping your opponent on their toes.
By the end of the night, there will be both laughter and trash talking all around the table.
As you go back and forth with this deck, you’ll find new ways to make it work even when it doesn’t fire off perfectly. More importantly, you and your opponent will both be having fun instead of just whoever is on a winning streak, even if neither one has a clear advantage during the night. For now, though, I wish you happy gaming, many rares in each pack, and twenties on every roll.
Pumping Poison
White
1X Meticulous Excavation
2x Dawnhart Geist
1x Jawbone Duelist
1x Recommission
2x Cathar’s Call
1x Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines
Blue
1x Prologue to Phyesis
3x Reject Imperfection
1x Tekuthal, Inquiry Dominus
1x Hullbreaker Horror
Green
1x Venerated Rotpriest
1x Magnigoth Sentry
1x Plague Nurse
1x Glorius Sunrise
1x Paladin of Predation
Gold
2x Jukai Naturalist
1x Katilda, Dawnhart Prime
2x Queen Allenal of Ruadach
1x Torens, Fist of the Angels
4x Tainted Observer
3x Brokers Ascendancy
2x Disciplined Duelist
1x Ajani, Sleeper Agent
2x Ezuri, Stalker of Spheres
Lands
1x Plains
1x Island
1x Forest
1x Deserted Beach
1x Fortified Beachhead
2x Skybridge Towers
3x Tranquil Cove
3x Blossomiung Sands
3x Botanical Plaza
1x Overgrown Farmland
1x Radiant Grove
1x Dreamroot Cascade
2x Thornwood Falls
1x Thran Portal