There is something therapeutic about sharing your deepest-darkest feelings on a public platform. On the same hand, it can be terrifying. I have taken to sharing some of my personal feelings as a form of mental health care, at this point, it is a way to push through some of the negative feelings I have in general. Maybe it’s a cry for help, I don’t know, but this year’s #oneword is a very important word for me because it literally means that I must learn to love myself again.

There are many variations of the one-word resolution, but the ideas are similar. You choose a word to apply to everything you do throughout the year, giving a purpose to your actions. For example, if you chose the word truth you apply that word to your actions, like interacting with loved ones, or strangers, self-acceptance and anything that you do.

Last year, 2018, I chose the word persist. I wanted to keep moving even when I felt like I would rather be lazy or give up. I wanted to encourage those around me to keep moving forward and empower myself and others to do what we wanted to do no matter what. I like to think I applied persist to many things I did last year. That word was a powerful word to live by for the year. Of course, I continue to persist no matter what, but this year is a little different.

At some point this past year, I picked up a very negative attitude about myself. I feel like a failure as a parent and wife, I basically flunked out of school, my finances are a huge struggle and there were a plethora of other issues that have dragged me down to the ground. I lost the can-can attitude I’ve always had. I lost myself in proverbial darkness. My ability to lift myself from the fog is lost. I feel like I am drowning. Of course, this negative isn’t projected on anyone else, only me. I find it hard to accept my accomplishments or believe I am doing a good job with anything. My ability to always find the light at the end of the tunnel is diminished. There is no light. Until now.

I started a little early with my #oneword, which is acceptance. I began participating in some activities that help me to love myself again. Since I am having such a hard time; I really want to get myself out of this hole. I decided to throw myself a life-saver to help me float instead of drowning. I will accept myself as a wonderful, witty, kind, and beautiful person. Eventually, I will not cringe when I write or say those things about myself. I will accept myself as human, not perfect, but perfectly imperfect. I am goal-driven and strong-willed. I care about others and I will put myself out there to prove this to others and myself. I will accept that I can do many things, but I can’t do everything.

Do you participate in the #oneword? What is your word for this year? How has it changed from last year?