The Other Part Of Me: The Final Chapter
Alexa
February 2016
Dear Diary,
I can’t tell you how amazing it is to be living life as myself now. Without having to share it with Rosaline. I am free to do what I want and please my needs. I no longer have to deal with her nags and her goody to shoe way of living. I can enjoy my life and bring all the lovers I want. Without her looking over my shoulders. This is what I wanted for a long time. I tried to work it out with Rosaline, but she refused to listen to reason. I had to take things into my own hands. There was no other way. Besides, I now have all the power. I doubt Rosaline will ever come back. This is for the best.
-Alexa.
Rosaline
April 2016
Damn it, Rosaline! Why are you allowing Alexa to take power over you?
Now everything makes sense. It never did before. It was Alexa who took over all those times you can’t remember, over the memories. Alexa is taking over your life.
Why am I allowing her to do this? But how do I fix this? Is there a way out?
I’m not sure I can beat her. Alexa is smarter. How can I break free?
I need to find a way out so I can get some help.
She’s making me skyrocket out of control.
I hope this isn’t the end for me.
I wish I knew away out of this.
Jack, I wish you were here.
Jack
June 2016
I can sense that something is wrong with Rosaline. I can’t explain it.
I can’t believe she left the party with a complete stranger.
I don’t think she has been acting like herself.
The only way I can help her is by talking with her mother. She may hold the key to what is going on.
I fear the worst for her.I must help her. She needs me, I know it.
Jack
August 2016
Today is an excellent day. I will find the answers to my questions will.
I hope Rosaline’s mother will help me in saving Rosaline from herself. I hope a meeting with her will provide the answers I wanted.
I can hear the doorbell ring. As I open the door, I see Rosaline’s mother is in tears.
“Good day, Mam.”
“Good day, young man. Are you Jack?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you so much for calling me.”
Immediately I notice the uncanny resemblance she shares with Rosaline. “Would you like something to drink?” I ask.
“Nothing for me, but thank you.”
Rosaline’s mother smiles, but by the look in her eyes, she’s been crying.
“Have a seat, please.”
“Thank you again, Jack.”
I smile at her, and I get right to the point. “Mam.”
“Please call me Cheryl.”
“Cheryl.”
“Thank you. Mam makes me feel old.”
“Very well, Cheryl, when was the last time you talked to Rosaline?”
“Goodness, it’s been a while. I’ve tried to call her, but she hasn’t returned my calls.”
“I’ve been dealing with the same, which is the reason I called.”
She jumped up. “Oh, no. Do you think she’s hurt?”
“I am sorry, Cheryl. I didn’t mean to startle you. I was trying to establish her whereabouts.”
“No need to apologize, Jack.”
After a few seconds, I answer her. “You’re most welcome.”
“I know something that will help.”
“What’s this?” I asked.
“This was a diary she kept at home, she started it when she began attending a community college. I was dusting the house a few months ago, and I found it.”
I noticed Rosaline’s mother cry, and her hands shook. “Cheryl, take a deep breath.”
“I can’t do that!”
“Why not?” I asked.
“I’m the reason she’s in this mess.”
“What mess?” I asked, not sure what was going on.
“Pardon me?”
She walked over to my side and sat down. “Please, sit.”
Now I would hear about what’s happening to Rosaline. Maybe her mother could fill in the gaps.
“As you know, I was a single mother. My husband left us when Rosaline was a year old. She always wanted a daddy to take care of her. Sadly, I was to wrapped up in my own self-pity. I resorted by going out and bringing home strange men.”
It didn’t take long for me to put two and two together.
“She’d turned 18-years-old, and well, you know how beautiful she is.” Cheryl took a pause. “I was working the late shift at the diner one night. My ex-lover, Gill, came by the apartment. Rosaline was home taking a shower. He found her, and, well, he…”
“You don’t have to say it,” I said.
“He hurt my baby, and she never told me, but I knew something was wrong.”
“How d’you find out?”
“She began staying out late. Sometimes she wouldn’t come home.”
“When did she tell you about the attack?”
“She never told me. I read it in her diary.”
“What? So, she never talked to you about it?”
“No, she didn’t. I was her enemy.”
Rosaline’s mother was a complete mess. She was crying. “I know it’s my fault. I should’ve been there for her. It was my fault Gill came to the house.”
“Look, Cheryl, you need to stop blaming yourself.” I walked over to her. “Right now, we need to help Rosaline. Do you know what the matter with her could be?”
“Yes, I do. Her name is Alexa.”
“Alexa?”
“Yes. It’s all in her diary.”
It startled me.
“Alexa exists inside of Rosaline, she is a part of her.”
This was something scary, but I knew, in my heart, I had to help Rosaline. Her mother and I were determined.
Alexa
October 2016
I’m on top of the world, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. I’m living life the way I want. Without rules or limitations. I’m happy now. This is the most excited I have been in a while.
Not sorry, I had to put Rosaline away. But she never appreciated all I do for her. Especially after that, filthy creep placed his hands on her, taking her innocence without asking. She needed me. I know she would have never survived the nightmare if it were not for me.
I know how broken she was and felt. This is why I am so happy I get to choose for her now.
Rosaline didn’t know how to own anything. She was a follower and not a born leader like me. Now I will function for her, and life will be much more pleasant.
I know 2017 will be a better year for us.
I wish I could trust her to do things the way I said, but I know she’ll want to put me away. I can’t have that. I am here to stay.
Jack
December 2016
It’s taken me a bit to recover after reading Rosaline’s diary. I never knew she had another part of her living inside her. I never thought this could happen. I had heard about mental disorders, but I didn’t know it would hit so close to home. I’m not sure how much I can do now, but I’m working hard on it.
I feel so helpless. I’ve asked Cheryl to help me. Together we can help Rosaline beat Alexa. I can’t believe I’m saying this. But I must say it out loud. Rosaline is suffering from multiple personality disorder. It’s brought on by trauma when Gill raped her.
From what I read about this disorder. Alexa was someone Rosaline created in her subconscious. Alexa took on the role of her protector and friend.
Somehow, Alexa manipulated Rosaline over time. She wanted her to believe she was her friend, to take over and control her.
How could I not see this! Why was I so freaking blind? Arggggg!
I am angry at myself for not being able to see it and help her.
I hope we can bring her back. We have to save her, she needs us!
Please, Lord, find a way to bring Rosaline back to us.
Rosaline
January 2017
Not sure what’s happening. Suddenly things have been quiet. Alexa’s not nagging me now. To clarify. I’ve been sleeping so much more. I never feel what she’s doing. Not sure why that is? If only I could break free.
Jack
January 2017
Okay, this is the moment of truth. I’ve found Rosaline.
I’m not proud of what I did. But Cheryl helped. We found her and brought her to the car. We had her take a mild sedative, and she passed out. It had to be done. Now to bring Rosaline back to us.
Alexa
January 2017
Huh? What’s happening? Where am I? Why can’t I open my eyes? This can’t be happening! I will never let you be free! Noooooooo!
Rosaline
February 2017
What is happening now? Where am I? Why do I hear voices talking? Could it be Alexa and her friends?
“Rosaline, hey, can you hear me?”
I look around me, and I see Jack and my mother. I can’t believe it.
“Jack? Mom?”
“Oh, my dear girl,” cries my mom.
“Rosaline, is that you?”
“Yes, Jack, it’s me.”
Wait a minute. For the first time, I’m not hearing Alexa.
“Listen, Rosaline, we know what’s happening to you,” says Jack.
“You do?”
“Yes, dear, I found one of your diaries.”
Immediately I cried.
“I am sorry; Rosaline, you don’t know how much.”
“Mom, I – I-.”
“Shh, my dear girl, I am here.”
All I can do is hug my mom.
“Look, Rosaline, we brought you to the hospital so you can meet with the doctors who can help you.”
“Thank you both.”
“This won’t be an easy road, but we’ll be here with you every step of the way,” says Jack.
All I can do is cry.
“Thank you both. I don’t think I could handle this without you both.”
“All we care is that you get well.”
“Thank you, Mom.”
I am ready to handle what is to come.
Rosaline
March 2017
Dear Diary.
I know it hasn’t been that long since I began treatment for my mental illness. I can feel the difference. It’s been a huge weight that’s been lifted off my shoulders.
By being able to see and admit that I have what they call is a Multiple Personality Disorder. Alexa was my alter, and she was trying to control my actions and emotions. Not to mention placed me at risk with all the different men I was sleeping with.
I was so terrified, but thankfully my exams showed that I am okay.
Still, I am working through my trauma. It’s not easy. Some days are better than others.
Alexa manipulated me into making me believe she was my friend. But this was all caused by the trauma of being a victim of rape. I didn’t know how to deal with what happened, so I resorted to wanting to feel numb, and I buried those feelings deep. But they were spiraling out of control.
I am not cured yet, but I know there is hope for me.
I am grateful for Jack and my mother, whom I had pushed away. They made me see how sick I had become.
Now, with the In-Treatment and Dr. Boise’s help, I am on my way to becoming who I used to be before the trauma. Also working towards making sure the other part of me never resurfaces. But it’s all going to take time, and I’ll work on it one day at a time. The goal is to get better.
