R felt the blood on his face as the train horn roared over his head. The shock from the fall lingered in his feet and ankles as he tumbled down the grassy hill and into the woods, the brush scraping his limbs. His heart slammed against his chest. Even as the sound of the horn faded, R still felt the train’s wheels getting closer, charging after him as he raced back down the bridge.

Sitting up, R watched the CFX rumble past at a steady pace, the colorful graffiti becoming a blur as he lost himself in his own thoughts. His heart rate slowed. He heard Spike’s laugh and swearing from the other side of the hill.

“That was sick!” shouted Spike, racing over to the other side as the train passed. R wiped the back of his hand across his bloody nose. Anger welled up within him.  

“Shut up! That could have—”

“Whatever, dude. Come on. Jackie said to meet him at Orangevale. Says he scored good.”

“He better!” R picked himself up, reluctantly following Spike back onto the tracks that went over the river. They balanced themselves along the bars of rickety wood, the waters rushing below them.

“Dunno. Probably what you’ve been selling, you know? Surprised you don’t know it,” Spike pulled a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket. They both crossed the bridge and sneaked down into the swampy weeds. R sighed to himself, grateful another train hadn’t followed.

As R trudged down the slanted sides of the road, the dew from the earlier rain dampened his jeans. The high weeds and meddling thorns caught at his ankles. The early morning sun beat down over the pines and across his shoulders. He and Spike slowly made their way further into the marshes, just outside the housing developments.

R stuffed his hands in his pockets and kicked at the weeds as he walked. Under the growing, comfortable shade of the swaying pines, he thought of his dad and if he would beat him again if he came home. R glanced up at the sky as if to find his answers there. Gathering clouds tinted with gray stared back at him, the sun glaring at him. A cool tinge swept the air. Maybe if it rained, if it rained hard and long enough, R could come up with an excuse to stay with Spike.

A car roared past on the graveled road. R kept his eyes to the ground, watching his footing, trying to keep his ankles from turning in on the slant. His dad might be sober enough to take the car, he thought.

“Hey!” Spike punched R’s shoulder so hard that R reeled back and snapped out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“Shut it. Don’t act suspicious,” Spike answered. He chucked the cigarette onto the road and snuffed it out, “Just follow me and do what I tell you.”

Rows of houses surrounded by trees appeared as they rounded the corner. R wiped the drying blood on his face again, his heart beating. He put his focus on Spike’s shoulders, a head above him. This had to work, he told himself. But Spike hadn’t said it wouldn’t. He’d have to put his faith in him for this.

“Spike,” he muttered, eyeing the houses they meandered past.

Spike swore under his breath.

“This job’s gonna go good, right?” R asked quickly, “You said there’s good money—”

“What? You backin’ out?” Spike stopped. R lurched back to keep himself from running into him.

“N-No, I’m not backin’ out. Just want to know—”

“Look, kid—”

R jumped as a high-pitched wail pierced the air. His heart leaped back into his throat. Spike held up his hands to cover his head. R’s eyes darted back and forth, searching for an escape. The last thing he needed was more jail time. He couldn’t go back. Turning around and dashing back, R leaped onto the ground behind the holly bush surrounding a house’s mailbox. The whining sound of the police cars heading their way from up the opposite road rang in his ears. R curled into a ball, his hands over his ears, waiting for it to pass.

“Hey!” Spike screamed at him from over the wails. His rough hand came down on his head, “Get up, moron!”

Spike jerked R up by the arm. The morning light burst across R’s eyes as he peeled his hands away from his face.

“What’s wrong with you? You’re gonna get us caught actin’ like—”

R watched as the ambulances turned a corner and headed away from them. He breathed a sigh of relief, even as Spike ripped into him.

“Sorry, man,” R shrugged, trying to appear less high-strung, “Just being careful, ya know?”

R watched the ambulances disappear. A second later, Spike dragged him off down the road toward where they were supposed to meet Jackie.

***

“Yeah—Mom, I got it. Yes, I’ll be coming tomorrow, OK?” Erin swung the steering wheel to the right and turned off the highway and onto the street leading to the suburbs. She held the phone to her ear, listening to her mother rattle on before remembering she needed to keep track of the street name. Flecks of rain fell across her windshield.

“Mom, I need to call you back. I have to pick up Lucy. Because she’s a family friend, Mom, why else would I be doing it? She’s at the hospital right now, and they’re stretched thin,” Erin sighed, “I’ll talk to you later.”

Erin ended her call and tossed her phone onto the passenger seat. As she placed her hand back on the steering wheel, she caught sight of the dragonfly tattoo on the side of her wrist. The remaining sunlight seeping through the clouds lit up the black outline.

Erin shook herself out of her thoughts, “Come on. Get over yourself, girl.”

Just ahead, traffic slowed to a stop, even with a green light. With a huff, Erin threw her head back against the seat, her earrings dangling back and forth. “For God’s sake!” she groaned and picked up her phone. 3:09. Rain dropped against the car, turning the world gray. If only she hadn’t taken that extra morning shift, then she could have gotten there sooner. But then again, she didn’t expect Bailey to call her in the middle of the day, choking as she talked.

“I’m in the hospital. Something’s happened. I don’t know what. Can you call Carson?”

Erin found out who was accounted for. Carson laid it out over the shouting and the crashing and the stomping up the stairs. Katie then slammed the front door shut. “No, I guess you don’t have to pick her up then.” In the end, she asked, “What about Lucy?”

“Oh, yeah. Well…. Can you pick her up?”

A car behind her honked. Erin sat up. Without thinking, she gripped the steering wheel with one hand, then turned on her signal with the other. Anything to get out of traffic. She turned down a side road, a block away from where she needed to be. As she drove, Erin thought about the last time she had been in that house.

***

“Are you sure he’s coming?” whispered R in the rain. He sat hunched over behind a few wilting cardboard boxes and other trash beside Spike, who rolled his eyes.

“He’s not just gonna walk out in the open,” Spike flicked his wet hair out of his eyes and scanned the gas station on the corner again. R glanced through the haze and took note of where Spike had led him. Along the road, orange and white barricades closed off one lane as workers laid cement on the new sidewalk. Cars inched past in the one lane, guided by workers holding a sign and alternating between stop and go. Along the side of the gray molding building, against the cigarette advertisements dotting the walls, no loitering signs glared down at him.

“What if he doesn’t—”

“He’ll be here!” Spike snapped. The cars slowed to a stop as the workers twisted their signs. One by one, the other lane crawled past.

“What if someone sees us? There’s a bunch of people over there.”

“It’s raining! And Jackie’s done this before! He knows what he’s doin’! What, you think I don’t know what I’m doin’?” Spike glared at him, then shifted away, muttering under his breath. R peered over the trash again.  

The cars coming from the intersection ahead took their turn. While R waited, something black and white bolted from around the opposite side of the building and parked beside a pump. “It’s a cop!” he hissed, leaping down, “We gotta go!”

“Relax, kid. Jackie ain’t even here yet. The cop’ll just get his gas and—”

R sprinted up, his heart thumping. The worst thoughts raced through his head. He didn’t want to go back there. He needed to run before something went wrong before it all fell apart, and they sent him back home. Before, he stood in front of the bathroom mirror and wiped the blood off his face. Before, he had to claw his way out again.

“Hey!” Spike swore as R got to his feet and sprinted backward. R didn’t care if Spike or anyone came after him. Fear peeled through his brain, propelling his legs forward in the rain. Before he knew it, he passed one block and gained on two. Despite his aching lungs and the sweat dripping down his forehead, R kept going, down the street, past the cars, to the edge of the neighborhood.

R forgot all about Jackie and Spike and where he even thought to go. His feet pounded against the dirt, kicking up the gravel. No one could follow him. He just had to keep running until everything faded behind him and—

Car brakes roared in his ears. A stab of white-hot terror shot through R’s chest and through his limbs, paralyzing him in the middle of the intersection as the car screeched to a halt. Heat from the smoke brushed his ankles. The growing darkness blocked out the driver as R squinted and blinked the raindrops out of his eyes.

The gravity of what he had done slammed into him. R felt the sudden urge to vomit, but he choked the feeling down, even as a woman threw open her car door and got out. He poised himself to sprint, but every muscle in his body seemed to melt, pinning him there.

“You! Get over here! What is wrong with—!”

The fear rushed back to him again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” R belted out the words in a rush, “I gotta run! They’ll get me. I don’t wanna go back!”

Erin stared at the child in front of her car, her heart settling as the adrenaline died down. She pulled herself out from behind her car door and then bent down, hands held out as if to catch him. “Kid, it’s OK. I’m not mad, I swear. Calm down. Tell me. Who’s going to get you?”

R threw a glance back at where he came from. The emptiness gazed back. For a moment, he thought about answering.

R bolted down the road. Erin shouted after him, running back into her car. When she looked back up, dripping hands on the steering wheel, R slipped between the rows of houses into the gray mists.

Erin sighed, placing her head in her hands. Her arms felt weak. She reached over and picked up her phone, ready to call the McCarthy and tell them she would be late.

Erin tossed it back onto the passenger seat. A car came up behind her and honked.