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Home›Environment›Please, Wake Up

Please, Wake Up

By Sarah Dowell
February 10, 2020
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Woman with head on pillow
Photo courtesy of Jen Theodore via Unsplash

***Trigger Warning***

The following deals with Suicide.

Wake up, dollface. It’s time to start a new day. The world needs you, and your pressure will go away soon. Wake up and plaster the made-up smile onto your face. They need to see it. They need to know that you’re okay. You’re always okay; your smile lights up the room. Wake up, now. 

Where are you? Your smile is painted on, and lips set just perfectly — your eyes — still closed. We need you to wake up. We need to see the smile and need you to tell us everything will be okay. We need you to be okay. Why won’t you wake up?

Where have you been? Your skin is so cold, how can any of us understand. Your smile spoke so loudly, even when you were silent. You never needed to speak, and your energy brightened the room. Your happiness was infectious. Where are you now? The smile is missing. Open your eyes, please. Open your eyes.

The man is speaking, and people are crying. You’re just lying there, and it makes little sense. How can any of this make sense? Your soul is beautiful, and it brings joy to us all. He’s speaking of you like you’re not here. Wake up, tell him you’re still here. You’re not gone, this isn’t past tense. Your life is ahead of you.

You’re so young, and you have your entire life to get over this bump. People haven’t seen you for weeks until now. Why won’t you wake up? Smile at us, tell us everything is fine. This isn’t real. Why are you doing this? This is cruel. This has to be a cruel joke. There isn’t any way you’re gone. He says you’re an angel now. Why?

This isn’t real. You’re trapping us all in this nightmare, and it hurts. There’s a hole in my chest, and it won’t close. I can’t speak. I can’t breathe. Why did you do this? Is this what you were feeling? Every day you plastered on the smile, you made us feel special, important, loved. You made everyone feel… what you needed to feel.

Where were we when this happened? Did you talk to any of us? There must have been a sign somewhere. Please, please wake up. Wake up. This is a nightmare. Wake up. I’m begging with everything I have. Wake up. 

Why didn’t you tell us? We loved your smile, your happiness, the light you put into us. You took our anger, our sadness, our anxieties, and fears, and you helped us. You loved us. You let us know every day you loved us. You showed us what we needed. Did we remember to show you?

We always meant to. We intended to tell you how much you meant to us. We meant to say to you there was a difference when you were around. The air was lighter, and we could breathe.

Please wake up. I can’t breathe. I need you to be here. We were going through everything together. When did it become one-sided? When did it become all about me? I always meant to tell you I love you. How special you were, and there was no one like you. There was, and never will be, another you.

If we could change places, I would. I would have taken your pain. Please wake up.

TagsAngstMental IllnessSarah DowellDepressionSuicidesadnessdeathfuneralAnxietyTrigger WarningMental HealthSleep
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Sarah Dowell

Just a girl from the midwest with a lifelong passion for writing.

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