Broken. Defeated.

Once not even alive.

You can’t even imagine the depths of pain I’ve survived.

I’ve suffered in silence

Given you my true crown.

There were times when I muffled my screams with the ground.

Just so you could be risen

Just so you could be well

And never once did I share with you the depths of my hell.

Now you sit here before me

all covered in jewels

while I press swaths of stained cloth to try and cover my nude.

And you have the gall

to condemn me, to judge?

Guess you don’t want the treasure if it’s wrapped up in mud.

But when you hit the bottom,

flailed around on your knees,

I swam through your shit storm to prop you back on your feet.

Oh, I’m so sorry.

Am I uncouth?

Is my sword not attractive when it’s pointed at you?

Fuck the high horse

that you rode in here on.

You can use it to feed yourself after I’m gone.

Go on, call me a liar.

Tell them I’m fake.

Take my sword and my shield, so your ego inflates.

Damn, right I pretended.

I gave, and I gave

just so night after night you could have what you craved.

And don’t even think

you can tell me I’m wrong

when you and I both know you worshiped this drug you were on.

So you want me to change?

To be more like you?

To scrub myself clean til I turn black and blue?

I won’t paint over my scars

just to hide from the truth.

I will never forget that the flames are my roots.

I will burn. I will blaze,

and I’ll cackle with glee.

I’ll create and destroy and do it all on my feet.

So go ahead. Fly high

on those glittery wings

The ones that I crafted with hands so unclean.

Just remember-

when you’re in the heat being tested

when you’re falling and crawling through all of that wreckage

When you’re scorched and you’re torn

and you just can’t go on

because there’s nothing beneath

that empty air that you don.

When you’re charred and you’re seared

from the wastes of a heart

that can’t beat until someone’s left falling apart,

When you’re nothing and no one

heeds your cries or your pleas

When the air that once lifted

you forces you back to your knees,

When your wings are all singed

and you’re parched from the lies

that you spewed, hoping this

phoenix would never rise.

When you’re broken-defeated

and your skin’s painted in ash.

When you’re reeling in agony

from the inferno’s attack.

You remember- the feel

as my flame kissed your cheek.

Remember this spark that

you once thought was weak.

Remember the truth

that these lips of mine speak.

Remember this lesson

I came here to teach-

There’s a big difference

between feathers and fire-

one turns to dust, the other climbs higher.