Poem: Forged In Fire

Broken. Defeated.
Once not even alive.
You can’t even imagine the depths of pain I’ve survived.
I’ve suffered in silence
Given you my true crown.
There were times when I muffled my screams with the ground.
Just so you could be risen
Just so you could be well
And never once did I share with you the depths of my hell.
Now you sit here before me
all covered in jewels
while I press swaths of stained cloth to try and cover my nude.
And you have the gall
to condemn me, to judge?
Guess you don’t want the treasure if it’s wrapped up in mud.
But when you hit the bottom,
flailed around on your knees,
I swam through your shit storm to prop you back on your feet.
Oh, I’m so sorry.
Am I uncouth?
Is my sword not attractive when it’s pointed at you?
Fuck the high horse
that you rode in here on.
You can use it to feed yourself after I’m gone.
Go on, call me a liar.
Tell them I’m fake.
Take my sword and my shield, so your ego inflates.
Damn, right I pretended.
I gave, and I gave
just so night after night you could have what you craved.
And don’t even think
you can tell me I’m wrong
when you and I both know you worshiped this drug you were on.
So you want me to change?
To be more like you?
To scrub myself clean til I turn black and blue?
I won’t paint over my scars
just to hide from the truth.
I will never forget that the flames are my roots.
I will burn. I will blaze,
and I’ll cackle with glee.
I’ll create and destroy and do it all on my feet.
So go ahead. Fly high
on those glittery wings
The ones that I crafted with hands so unclean.
Just remember-
when you’re in the heat being tested
when you’re falling and crawling through all of that wreckage
When you’re scorched and you’re torn
and you just can’t go on
because there’s nothing beneath
that empty air that you don.
When you’re charred and you’re seared
from the wastes of a heart
that can’t beat until someone’s left falling apart,
When you’re nothing and no one
heeds your cries or your pleas
When the air that once lifted
you forces you back to your knees,
When your wings are all singed
and you’re parched from the lies
that you spewed, hoping this
phoenix would never rise.
When you’re broken-defeated
and your skin’s painted in ash.
When you’re reeling in agony
from the inferno’s attack.
You remember- the feel
as my flame kissed your cheek.
Remember this spark that
you once thought was weak.
Remember the truth
that these lips of mine speak.
Remember this lesson
I came here to teach-
There’s a big difference
between feathers and fire-
one turns to dust, the other climbs higher.