On the day you die, you’ll wake up, dress, and make a cup of coffee before heading to your front porch rocker. The sun will slowly rise in the distance as a gentle breeze caresses your cheek. Above you in a maple tree, a yellow warbler will feed worms to her young, and they’ll chirp with delight as you nurse your drink.
You’ll close your eyes and remember the morning you knew you’d found love, feel the warmth of their arms around you. You’ll open your eyes and glance at the empty rocker next to you, but it’ll only be a rocker now. Your lover’s presence will no longer linger. Somehow, the sting of loss will be less than the day before. You’ll purse your lips, guilty.
A year will have passed since their death, and you’ll want to restore your longing rather than move on. So few places will let you feel close to them. Not even the side of your bed they once slept in. Their smell will have faded from all their belongings your loved ones will have told you to part with. You’ll think how cruel of them to have suggested such an action.
A rebellious drive will come over you. There will be one place you haven’t visited since the first month without them. You’ll grab your keys to lock your home before pulling a handful of their favorite flowers from their flowerbed you’ve continued to water. The distance to their place of death will not be far, so you’ll go on foot.
The world around you will begin to wake with the sun now in full view. Parents will wait with their children for the school bus to arrive. They’ll be no distraction for you as you complete your journey and arrive at the sharp curve where your lover took their last breath. You’ll lean on the damaged tree their car struck. Their presence will overwhelm you as you kneel to place the flowers by the cross you made.
As you stand, you’ll feel them pull you toward them, so you’ll close your eyes and follow out onto the street. You’ll see them in your mind’s eye, smiling and offering a hand. Your fingers will touch theirs, and you’ll wonder how, as a bus driver slams the brakes, and your body crushes underneath their wheel. You’ll have no awareness of the pain or the children’s screams as your spirit floats to the heavens with your one true love. Only peace will surround you as your first day of forever begins.