She Will Always Be Loved
She stares blankly in the mirror, looking at her reflection. Her eyes used to glimmer with hope, now they seem empty. She’s tired, always so tired. Going through the motions of life with the mask of happiness, trying to appease the world. The mask falters rarely, and when it does, she’s quick to adjust it. What happened?
The desire to shatter the mirror is overwhelming. Break it into a million pieces, make it unrecognizable. Just like her, she’s shattered and doesn’t recognize herself anymore. She would do anything to be someone else, just for a day. In her mind, she can be anyone.
Write it all down, princess. You can write out your heart, your wishes, and your desires. You can write down everything you wish you were. Perhaps they’ll come true someday. Someday you can be everything you’ve ever wanted. What is it that you wrote down? It didn’t take very long.
Happy. The only word on the page. It glares up at her. She feels like that one word is mocking her, so she writes it again and again. Tearing through the pages of her notebook as she presses the pen down, writing the same word over and over again. Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. All she wants to be is happy.
One day she dreams that she will be. The only thing she’s ever wanted is happiness, and it’s unattainable. Isn’t it? Why can’t she seem to find happiness? She looks in the mirror again, ripping herself apart piece by piece. Everything about her is wrong. She doesn’t have the ideal body. She doesn’t have traditional beauty. Her skin isn’t perfect, and she doesn’t look like the other girls.
Her mind doesn’t function the way theirs does. She looks at herself in the mirror again, staring quietly. Looking into her own eyes, they’re not empty. They’re tired, but they’re not empty. There’s hope in them, even if the glimmer is slight and fading, it’s there. She knows she’ll never be like everyone else. She’ll never be like anyone else.
She’ll never be like anyone else. Why is that such a bad thing? If she thinks about it, why is it considered bad to be different? Her differences set her apart. She has talent, humor, interests, an outstanding personality, she’s fun and funny to be around.
She looks up again, her eyes shining. She will be happy. It won’t happen suddenly, it won’t happen overnight, but it’s something she knows she deserves. She deserves happiness; she deserves love; she deserves to feel good about herself. The butterflies in her stomach, once anxiety, deserve to turn into butterflies of happiness.
The butterflies can carry her away; she can fly, she can soar in the clouds without worry about what the others may think. They may be right; she is “weird.” She’s awkward, quiet, shy, and nervous, but she’s unique. There is no one else on the planet like her. She’s beautiful in her ways, but she’ll never admit them. She’s humble.
Her happiness is there. She knows it’s been inside of her the entire time, buried under the darkness, but she finds the light. She sees that light beckoning to her and runs towards it. She knows now what she deserves, and she deserves everything she’s wanted. She deserves love, joy, happiness. Even if there are dark days, there’s light to come. There is always light in the darkness.
She no longer has to search; she just carries this knowledge with her. She looks up at the mirror for the last time, brushes the tears away from her face and smiles. No longer wanting to destroy her reflection. She is light; she is beautiful, and she knows her worth. She knows she’s worth it, not only to others but to herself.
She remembers now, no matter what’s going through her head, through her life, she is beautiful; she is worth the world, and she is never alone. She will always have a net to fall into. She is certain now; she deserves happiness, and she will embrace it. She will allow herself to feel it, to find it in the smallest of places, and to feel the love and joy she’s always longed for. She will always be loved.