Sometimes Love Isn’t Enough
If love isn’t enough, what is? Why can’t love be enough, just for once? I wish it were worth it. People always say action over words. Sometimes words are all you have. They’re all I have. I’m better at typing, with writing. I can think before I say what it is I want to say. With verbal conversation, I lash out. Anger becomes overwhelming, sadness, happiness, and any emotion comes out in full.
What do I do to express my love? I put it into words. I compliment. I express that they mean something to me with how I speak to them, how I type to them. It means more than it’s given credit. Words on a screen do not represent lesser emotion. It’s frustrating, at times. It’s so frustrating to have someone say that words mean nothing because they’re just words.
I know people can change words. They change them, manipulate them, they’ll take them back, because it’s just words, after all. Sticks and stones break bones, but words never hurt. That’s how they taught you, isn’t it? It’s what we were all taught. Words hurt. Words cause more frustration than anything in the universe. What do you do when there is nothing but words left?
You do your best. I do my best. I try so hard to put my feelings into words, but everyone wants action. Expression through words is action. Why don’t they matter? Why are they so invalid that it makes more sense to walk away than to accept a form of love?
Not everyone’s love language is through words; not everyone’s love language is through physical affection. Sometimes they’re different. When someone pours their heart into their words, it’s a form of love. Words are difficult. They’re hard to express. Every time I pour my heart into things, it’s through words.
Shying away from physical affection doesn’t mean less love, and it doesn’t mean that there isn’t compassion. It means there’s a different language being spoken. People leave their comfort zones for love all the time. Why is it so difficult to accept another person?
You broke my heart when you said my words meant nothing, that they were just words. We express ourselves every day through words. You were difficult; you were frustrating, and you were the love of my life. It wasn’t enough, though. Everything you wanted me to be is buried deep in the sea.
Maybe the Merman’s Children can find everything I was meant to be to you. Perhaps I was meant to be different. Maybe I should be different, but I am what I am. I am who I am. I can’t change the past, but I can change the future when given a chance. Is it too late? People say it’s never too late, but sometimes it is too late. Sometimes expressing love is too difficult.
I loved the way you talked to me. I loved how you were with me. I loved you, and I loved everything about you. My heart was in your hands, but I was never enough for you. I was never good enough, and nothing makes me think I will be. You haven’t changed, despite the promises you would. I guess I haven’t either.
Why would anything change, what does love actually mean to you? We’ve seen the bible verse. It’s patient, kind, trustful. What did we have? None of that. We were impatient, frustrating, constant arguments. There was mistrust left and right. What were we? I could have sworn it was love. I don’t know anymore. Maybe I’ll never know what we could have been because I certainly don’t know what we were.