“Too bad Cat didn’t want to see the Parque Marechal Carmona.” Marta set aside the Cascais guide book and winked at David. “Maybe we can convince her to do something while we’re here besides lounge on the beach.”

I had told Marta earlier I’d like to explore the mansion there. Had she forgotten? I reminded her.

“The park sounds wonderful.”

“You asked if there was a spot to swim.” As she spoke, she caught David’s attention and rolled her eyes. “I could’ve sworn you said ‘no’ when you found out it only had a duck pond.”

David chuckled, and my cheeks burned. Dumbfounded, I studied Marta. Once again, she caught me off guard and unprepared with a response.

“We could walk to the cliffs. The Boca de Inferno is there.” Charles threw out the suggestion. I nodded in agreement and opened my mouth to reply, but Marta was quicker.

“Is there enough sand for Cat’s towel?”

“If not, market stalls are close by,” David added. “She can always shop.”

Both Marta and David hooted at their jokes. My face burned even hotter. My head throbbed. The hotel room closed in on me. Too many people occupied the space and breathed the air. I wanted elbow room, needed my own air to inhale. Without a word, I slipped out of the room and headed down to the beach.

“Cat. Wait up.”

I heard Charles call after me. I kept on but slowed my pace so he could catch up.

“I’m going for a walk. On the beach.” I didn’t offer an invitation.

He fell into step next to me. “How about some company?”

I shrugged and continued down the hotel walkway until I reached the sand. “I guess so.”

The four of us had banded together to travel in Portugal. The trip was our version of backpacking through Europe. David and I were a couple. I met Charles and Marta for the first time at the Humberto Delgado Airport. We started in Lisbon two weeks ago and worked our way west to the coastal town of Cascais. Instead of packs, though, we had suitcases. Rather than hike, we drove from town to town in a little Cooper Mini that Charles rented. Hostels and rented rooms replaced sleeping bags and tents.

Our accommodations typically consisted of two beds and one bathroom for us to share. Girls shared one bed; boys shared the other. Until now, I handled the living arrangements without issues. I had to. We were on a budget. As the days passed, though, I struggled to cope with my travel companions.

The sun hung low in the western sky as Charles, and I slogged through the sand. He grasped my hand. His fingers meshed with mine.

“Marta?”

I breathed in the salty breeze that blew off the Atlantic Ocean. I knew my voice would give away my anger and frustration, so I opted to nod instead.

“I figured as much.”

Streaks of pink and purple engulfed the azure blue as the sun dipped closer to the horizon. As the waves advanced and retreated, the last rays of sunlight reflected off their crests. The light formed tiny white sparklers. Charles led me over to a secluded spot on the beach. He spread a threadbare cotton blanket on the sand.

“Where’d you find a beach blanket?”

“I have my resources.” He sat, then drew me down to sit next to him. In silence, we watched the twilight sky.

My problem revolved around David and Marta. David planned this trip to visit Charles. I expected the getaway to strengthen our romance. I pictured early espressos at coffee bars. Romantic dinners devoured in quaint little cafés. Magical nights spent in cozy hotel rooms. Instead, it started the end of our relationship.

“Marta. She sets me up. And David doesn’t see it.” I picked at a string on the blanket.

“He sees what he desires to see. He’s always been that way. Ever since we were kids.”

“Why did he bring her?”

Charles leaned back on his elbows and studied the horizon. I leaned back, too, and followed his gaze. Two tiny stars twinkled in the darkened sky.

“I don’t know, Cat. I love my big brother, but he’s hard to understand.”

David considered Marta to be one of his best friends. Their friendship had endured since they were in high school. When she asked him if she could join us, he couldn’t say no.

“I thought she supported David’s relationship with me. But she pitted herself against me. She engaged me in a competition for David’s attention.” My voice cracked. “I can’t win it, either.”

The sky darkened, and more stars twinkled in the dusk. I counted ten as I lay on the tattered blanket. Charles found my hand and held it. His grip was light, yet firm.

“Don’t worry about them.” Charles’s voice, deep and musical, floated toward me. A southern drawl softened his words. He grew up in Virginia, the same as David. But any similarity between them ended there. Charles exuded warmth and kindness. I hadn’t known him before this trip. But he treated me with courtesy and compassion, as though we were long-time friends.

While David addressed me with affectionate comments, he acted out-of-sync with his words. He never touched my hand or stroked my cheek. I assumed he was reserved, a quaint trait that captivated me. Now, doubt clouded my relationship with him.

“Marta’s in love with David.” Once I confessed my thoughts, a weight lifted from my heart. Charles tightened his grip on my hand.

“Maybe so. But you are the better person.” His voice calmed me and boosted my confidence. Like a porcelain figurine, I was fragile. I regretted my glass-like psyche. Charles helped me to believe in myself.

“What would I do without you?” I squeezed his hand, grateful for his company.

We watched as the sun disappeared behind the Atlantic Ocean. Its reflection left a slender trail of orange on the water. The pink and purple streaks across the horizon morphed into deep blues and blacks.

I broke the silence. “I told him Marta wanted more from him than friendship. That she tries to come between us.”

Charles turned toward me. His brows lifted in surprise.

“What did he say?”

“He accused me of being jealous and insecure. He insisted Marta is a good friend, and I am selfish and juvenile.”

“I’ve known Marta for a long time. She takes what she wants. And I agree with you. She’s after David. He may not see it, but I do.”

Charles paused and held my gaze with his. In the darkness, his eyes appeared deep brown, intense. They posed the question before he verbalized it.

“Will you fight for him?”

At that moment, I realized my relationship with David was incomplete, unfulfilled. His affection for me lacked depth. He excluded me when he was with his friends, with Marta. When he did invite me, I was an object of ridicule. He’d joke that “Cat won’t do this” or “Cat’s afraid to try that.” The negativity hurt. It ripped apart my self-esteem. I didn’t need him. I deserved better.

“No.”

I shivered, despite the mild June air.

“You’re cold. We should go back.”

“Not yet.”

Charles sat up and pulled me close to him. “I’m not ready to go back, either.”

Heat radiated off his chest and ignited a spark in me. Hundreds of minute electrical shocks fired across every inch of my body. The attraction stunned and overpowered me. His closeness awakened a passion that I hadn’t experienced for months. I snuggled closer, craving his skin against mine. His arms tightened around me.

“Cat…”

His soft whisper melted my defenses. I rested my head against his shoulder.

“David doesn’t realize what a treasure you are. I feel like I’ve known you forever, even though we only met two weeks ago.”

“Charles, I …”

He put his index finger against my lips and lifted my face up to his. His nose pressed against mine. We both knew this moment may be a turning point for us. The night where we went from acquaintances to lovers. He searched my eyes for affirmation. I nodded, and his lips sought mine. He kissed me with a soft and tender touch that transformed into an impatient force.

Charles gathered me into his arms, and we tumbled backward onto that old blanket. I savored the roughness of his cheek against mine, the taste of his lips. The strong, steady thump of his heartbeat reverberated throughout my chest. Molecule by molecule, he sucked my breath into his. I hung onto him with all my strength. If I loosened my grip, I’d fade away into oblivion.

This was the gut-wrenching, heart-pounding, intimacy I coveted. The closeness I had searched for. My desire for Charles was intense. A deep hunger ached for gratification. I was ready to give myself to him completely, without regrets. He was the soul mate I yearned for. The man David could never be.

I knew, though, that it wouldn’t work. It took all the strength I possessed to untangle myself from his arms. Our bodies disconnected, and we separated into two entities. Our bond dissolved. I brushed his lips with light, lingering kisses. Then I edged away and sat up. The elation that lifted me had dissipated. Sensibility crashed down around me.

“Cat, what is it?” he whispered.

“David.” I forced the words.

Disappointment struck me when I uttered David’s name. I swallowed, determined to stop the onslaught of tears. Charles focused on the deep purple horizon. The color of his eyes mirrored the dark sky.

“I’m sorry, Charles. I justified my attraction to you. Told myself that David didn’t care about me. That no one would get hurt as I grew attached to you. But I was wrong.”

I clutched his hand and faced him. “I can’t come between brothers. It would be you and me—not David—who would pay the emotional toll. Your relationship with him could be destroyed, and guilt would tear me apart.”

“You’re right, Cat. It does hurt.” Charles brushed his lips over the top of my hand. “I understand. I don’t want to lose my brother. But I don’t want to lose you either. Does this have to be the end…of us?”

Unable to speak, I nodded and stood up. Walking away from Charles was the hardest thing I’d ever done. Without a glance backward, I continued alone on my stroll along the beach in Cascais.

Image by Jieun Lee from Pixabay.