Ten Ways To Kill A Villain While Dying Of Laughter
Most of us have read or watched something where the villain says something stupid that makes you want them to perish because of it or makes you wonder if anything could go wrong with how simple they have made something. Below are ten ways that a villain can perish that will satisfy your desire for vengeance and make you die laughing at the same time.
10. Flips Death Ray Switch While Trying To Turn On Light
So, the villain appears to have killed the hero or maybe they even succeeded in killing the hero. They then get cocky and have a celebratory dinner. Since they think they have won once and for all they have too much to drink. They stumble into what they think is the restroom. They flip a switch thinking it is the light switch. Instead, it is the switch for the death ray they used on the hero, which reduces them to a tiny pile of ashes. The day is saved, and, on the bright side for the villain, they no longer need to use the restroom.
9. Grabbing The Wrong Glass
We have all seen at least one villain monologuing while at the same time wondering why they keep their drinks so close to the poisons and acids. What happens when they are monologuing about their evil scheme need a drink, and instead of grabbing the drink they mean to they grab a glass beaker of acid or poison. They drink it like a shot and of course blame it on the hero as they are dying and searching for an antidote.
8. Crushed By Piano While Moving Into New Hideout
Now with this one, you must be working on a sequel since you will be starting out with the villain from the last story. It’s also a good warning to be careful with how you treat movers. But you get the reader invested thinking they know who the villain is. Then when said villain is moving into their new hideout, they get too lippy with the movers. As the old saying goes accidents happen, and somehow the piano they play so much while scheming ends up being dropped on them. As for what organization would be moving furniture and stuff for a villain and not alerting authorities that is your job to figure out. I can’t do all the work for you. I mean unless you want to put my name on the cover too and pay me royalties, you know.
7. Exploding Shark
Now I know growing up more than once my mom dropped something in her aquarium. Most villains seem to like keeping dangerous things in theirs, like sharks. Villain gets cocky, accidentally arms the bomb and drops it into the aquarium, and one of their pet sharks swallows it whole. Of course, they don’t realize this and are still searching for it when it goes boom making a huge mess as it takes them out along with everything in the aquarium.
6. Walking Off A Cliff While Monologuing
This one comes from a combination of watching too many Road Runner cartoons and noticing how villains tend to monologue too much without paying attention to their surroundings. Picture your favorite villain in a full-blown monologue on the edge of a mountain not paying attention as their henchmen try to warn them. They don’t listen of course and walk right off the edge of a cliff. The next thing we have is a pancake for a villain and henchmen without a clue as to what to do next.
5. Struck By Lightning Holding Sword In The Air
This is for the fantasy fans who have read about various heroes pulling a sword from a stone. I wondered what if the villain got their first and pulled the sword out just as the hero arrived. Most likely they would hold it straight above their heads while boasting. And as I was pondering this a thunderstorm rolled through my area. I thought it would be hilarious and just desserts for the villain to be struck by lightning. They cough out smoke and/or turn to ash dropping the sword at the hero’s feet.
4. New Weapon Pointed In the Wrong Direction
Everyone has had at least one new TV where it took a bit to get used to the new remote. Most villains for some reason use remotes with the weapons they invent, forgetting this principle of life it seems. So, imagine a villain turning his back to the weapon and once more monologuing before pushing the button for it to fire at what they assume will be the hero. Except they pointed it at themselves instead. So, when they push the fire button, they vaporize themselves or turn themselves into a garden slug.
3. Hit By Bus While Fleeing
This one just seemed a no-brainer to me as I was walking to work. Granted we all see the long chases on TV shows of heroes chasing villains or suspects. And now and then they run into the side of a car or are tapped by one. But, with public transportation the way it is one would expect it to happen more often than not that the villains or suspects would get hit by a bus or something its size and be launched or turned into road pizza.
2. Killed By Trap They Set For Hero
I know watch way too much roadrunner as I am writing this. In this case, though the villain is supposed to have the hero on the run and lead them into a trap. Except somehow, they get ahead and run into their trap instead of the hero. Knowing a villain’s luck in a case like this was as simple as losing sight of the hero and thinking they were still behind them leading them to the trap till they triggered it.
1. Shot By Own Firing Squad
Blame Bugs Bunny for this idea. But every villain seems to have a firing squad or execution squad of some sense. Imagine the hero tricking the villain into having that squad kill them after a back and forth exchange.
Whether you have your villain die in a funny way like here or something more serious one thing that must always be remembered: why are the hero and the villain fighting? What makes them want to fight in the first place. Without that why does the reader care why either one wins without knowing why they are in conflict? As much as we all like the endings we should remember that the beginning and middle are just as important.
*Tips his hat tossing a d20 behind him as he walks out the door*