The Definition Of Insanity
A loud string of chirps
outside my bedroom window
interrupt my dream
instantly erasing the memory
of what it was about
from my consciousness
and jolts me
from a deep slumber.
not having a rooster
doesn’t spare me
from unwanted wake-up calls.
Speaking of calls,
I lean over the edge of my mattress
as my puny, extended hand
on the chilled floor.
My fingers land on a hard-rectangular surface
covered with rubber-like stretched out skin
on an aging body as it loses collagen.
I slide my finger across the side,
scanning for a ridge as if trying to read Braille
and press down,
simultaneously bringing the object
up to my face.
A burst of white temporarily blinds me
while my eyes adjust
from the fixed blackness
behind my lids for the past seven hours.
The bright flash starts to morph
into black dots like tiny ants in a farm
until small letters and words
form in front of me.
I scroll the messages folder.
Not even a half-ass excuse.
I can hear the disinterest in your silence.
The wind picks up the lack of effort
and it floats through the air with the breeze,
rustling the leaves on the tree branch
where the birds perch,
now mocking me with increasing volume
of their unintelligible chatter
like manicurists at the nail salon.
I squirm around
as the déjà vu
causes my body to shudder.
I’ve eaten at this restaurant before.
The food was dull as dishwater.
It was almost as if the chef was about to get it right
but forgot that one seasoning or spice
and left my meal missing
the last important ingredient.
There I was,
an overlooked meal on the plate
about to be served to an eager customer
or was I the diner?
Opening her salivating mouth-
time slowed down
I torpedoed disgust
out of my mouth
through my spit back onto the plate.
This wasn’t what I ordered- or was it?
Do I call the waiter?
Yell and stomp my feet?
Bang my hand on the table
and demand a re-do?
I’ve eaten at this restaurant before,
I should’ve known better.
I ordered something new this time.
I set the bar too high.
Maybe my taste buds are too sophisticated.
Maybe I should stop eating.
Next time I’ll cook at home, alone.
The day went on,
I stopped checking my phone.
Why try anymore?
I’ve done this before
and I’m tired.
Expectations are never met
I’m never coming back
to this establishment again.
I blocked your number.