The Jazzy Chronicles | Green-Eyed Monster
Hey, hey Coffee House Readers! How are you? I am purr-fect! I have been working hard at my jobs here around the house. I wake Tish up every day. I go snuggle with Roy every morning after before he leaves in the morning. He has to catch me, as I just run up and flop on top of him. He complains, but I know he needs it. I help them both start off their day on the right paw.
When they are in the kitchen, I follow their every move. In the kitchen, that is where my food and water are, but also where they make meals for them to eat. Whenever they use chicken or cheese, I get little bites dropped for me, which I can make disappear at a remarkable speed. Whatever I get to eat besides cat food is always so delicious! They put the meals on dishes and disperse to eat at their desks, which gives me another vantage point to try what they are eating. I hunt them while they eat their food. I have not mastered the skill completely, yet, but I have found a tactic which works on Roy. He uses this metal tool with claws to get the food from the dishes to his mouth. My claws can grab the tool between the claws as he is eating, and we fight over the food on it. Sometimes I win! I make sure they know I am not far at every meal. In that way, I can help them learn how to share more.
They don’t have any problem sharing the food with the other monster in the kitchen. After almost every meal, they give whatever is on the plate to this monster. They stand on its foot (I only ever saw one foot, and it walks nowhere,) and when they do, it opens its mouth. They then use the metal claw TO FEED THIS MONSTER! I kid you not. I find it rather rude to feed it and it isn’t even cute like me. What happens when it is full is rather disturbing.
They rip all the insides out of it once or twice a week and take them outside. Then they open its mouth again to put new noisy insides back into its mouth. I am jealous of this monster because they feed it better than they feed me. It gets to eat everything they do! They do not let me try everything they eat. Sometimes Tish will let me smell what she is eating, and if it does not smell delicious, I will leave her alone. Other times I find myself moved to the couch behind her chair several times before I leave her alone. It’s not my fault she eats delicious food! I wish she would give me more of it. I usually only get one or two bites.
I sometimes find myself locked away in the bathroom by myself. This usually happens when I am hunting too hard to get a bite of whatever Tish and Roy are eating. Ever since I moved in, they have the radio on in there. I find it so comforting. When I want to take out my revenge on them for not sharing with me and locking me in there, I hang out. On the toilet. I do enjoy the music, and I also play with the bathroom mats on the floor. Roy and Tish did not like me unrolling the toilet paper, though. They flipped it around, and now I cannot express my artistic influences in there any more. One of my revenge plots has been a success, nevertheless. When they find me on the toilet, they go all the way to the other end of the house to do their business. It’s the small wins I aim for, and this was a win. I heard them saying I was too cute to move as they walked away from me on my throne.
I almost got out the door the other day. Tish and Roy were talking with the door open. I started to sneak outside to see what it was like and Roy stopped me. It smelled cold, and I am sure there are more dogs outside. I think I will stay inside. It is where I have my food, water, treats, toys, snuggles and the box. I don’t know of anything more a cat would need to be content where they live. Tish has even made a place for me to lie on her chair in the living room. I love it when the blinds are open and the sun is shining on me while I sleep. The blinds have their own built in amusement. I love to run through them to bang on the chain Tish uses to open and close them. I also can play a mean game of hide and sneak from behind them. There is a set in the litter box suite too. It does not amuse Roy though when I bang the blinds in the window when he is going to bed. I don’t understand because I want to let them enjoy my playtime whenever the mood strikes me.
Speaking of moods and playtime, I must go investigate the top of my tower to see what they have stuffed in there since the last time I looked. I have to clean it out several times a day. It amuses Tish, so I allow it. The usual toys I need to evict over and over again are my owl and mouse toys. I think she put a pen in there today. How am I going to get it out? Does she expect me to write these stories by myself? Not a chance; I know a good thing when I see it. Catch you next time and remember to stay on top of your paws!