Going through life is a journey. We travel through the good times and the bad. There are times in our lives that pull us to the edge of reason, but then we have times of intense joy and happiness. Every single step lays down a memory. It imprints on who we are and what we will become. We hold our most cherished memories close to our hearts. Some of our life experiences are used to teach. We learn, change accordingly, and sometimes we even try hard to forget.

My imagination is vivid, and I see myself carrying my traveling bag on the journey.  I am moving along life’s path, picking and choosing the memories and experiences that are saved. They go into my traveling bag.

Some people choose to pack their happy times inside their bags, while others hold on to their traumas. Whatever is in that bag is what carries a person through their life. It is full of the things that have made each person who they are at that moment. What we choose to hold on to affects our journey through life.

My bag holds magical memories, the experiences that touched my heart and changed me as a person. It’s where I store my memories of my many trips to my happy place; Disney World. I reach inside and bring out all the sights and smells. It’s the place where I become a child at heart again, and it makes me smile.

I have filled my traveling bag with memories of my time spent with my mom and dad. The camping trips, family picnics, holidays, and vacations. It is all there to revisit whenever I need to feel my parents again. My traveling bag holds heartfelt memories of when I can hear my father say, “I love you,” and the memory of holding my dying mother’s hand until her last breath.

I carry a second bag that I call my adoption bag. This bag was not to go with me on my life journey. My adoption bag is heavy, and I don’t always understand what lies inside. Sometimes, its weight is too much, and I must walk away. But, time heals, and I pick the bag back up again.

Inside my adoption bag are all of my emotions, feelings, and experiences that are unique to my adoption experience. There are many tears of sadness inside my bag. I put the hope of finding my biological family inside my bag. My bag holds my love for this family and the disappointment they don’t love in return. Sometimes I rummage through my bag and spend too much time in the sadness. When I find a happy memory, it is tightly wrapped in regret for all the lost relationships.

As time goes on, I am learning to manage my two bags. It’s what life gave me.