Coffee House Writers

Top Menu

Main Menu

  • Home
  • Article Categories
    • Creativity
    • Culture
    • Design
    • Family
    • Fashion
    • Fiction
    • Food
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Home
    • Lifestyle
    • Memories
    • Nonfiction
    • Poetry
    • Politics
    • Relationships
    • Sports
    • Style
    • Technology
    • Travel
  • About Us
    • Our Story
    • Our Founder
  • Meet Our Admin
    • Chief Editors
    • Editors
    • Poetry Editors
    • Advertising Team
    • Recruiting Team
  • Testimonials
  • Apply
  • Login

logo

Coffee House Writers

  • Home
  • Article Categories
    • Creativity
    • Culture
    • Design
    • Family
    • Fashion
    • Fiction
    • Food
    • Environment
    • Health
    • Home
    • Lifestyle
    • Memories
    • Nonfiction
    • Poetry
    • Politics
    • Relationships
    • Sports
    • Style
    • Technology
    • Travel
  • About Us
    • Our Story
    • Our Founder
  • Meet Our Admin
    • Chief Editors
    • Editors
    • Poetry Editors
    • Advertising Team
    • Recruiting Team
  • Testimonials
  • Apply
  • Login
  • You

  • Ma Millie-6

  • Why Genuine Gratitude Wins Over Urgent Apology

  • Burying her… alive?

  • Building Habits

  • Time After Time

  • Dance With Me

  • 5 Foods High in Vitamin D

  • The North Wind – Part 9

  • Youngster

  • Parenting My Way With No Regrets

  • Cracks and Holes

  • Until Forever, Part One

  • The Mystery of Cash Castle: Part 12

  • I want to fly

  • Prayers of Lament and Gratitude

  • Circumstantial Truths

  • Bloom Everlasting

  • Ma Millie-5

  • Husband

  • Leap Year Killer

  • Making Peace With My Adopted Self

  • Platinum Moments

  • Evolution of Romance Novels: Part 1

  • Fairytale

  • The North Wind – Part 8

  • English Class

  • A Beetle Called Bertha

  • The Island Flamingo: Part 11

  • Mr. Keith’s House – Part V

EnvironmentHealthCultureRelationshipsMemories
Home›Environment›The Ups And Downs Of A Helper Personality Type

The Ups And Downs Of A Helper Personality Type

By Sarah Dowell
October 8, 2018
1761
0
Share:
Love
Photo courtesy of Tyler Nix via Unsplash

I have always had this problem, my entire life I’ve wanted to rescue people. Not from imminent danger, but if they’re in a situation and there’s any way I can help, I want to do it. I want to help people with any and everything I can help them with – whether it be financial, emotional, physical, whatever it must be, I want to help them.

I’ve gotten into many sticky situations due to helping people. I’ve put others before myself for a long time. I’ve drained myself trying to make sure that others are at their prime state. I’ve opened myself up to toxic relationships, some of them turning into emotionally abusive relationships – mainly with my friendships.

I’ve never been the type of person to have a high guard. I want to believe everyone is a good person and they’ll always do the right thing. I want to believe people know the difference between right and wrong and they’ll act correctly. When that doesn’t pan out the way I want it to, it becomes heartbreaking.

I’ll dwell on it and blame myself for anyone they’ve hurt. I don’t dwell on the fact they’ve hurt me as well – that’s a deeper subject, something I’m not ready to encounter yet. I’ll fixate on what they’ve done to other people and ways I can help others. Sometimes I must pause and realize that I can’t.

I’m not a superwoman, and will never be. I want to help the world. I want to save people. I want to make it a better place for everyone, but sometimes I can’t do that. Sometimes I can’t save everyone, and I must allow myself to realize that. It is the worst feeling in the world when a situation is out of my control. 

I’ll have nightmares when I can’t fix a situation. It will feel like I’m drowning because I take on their problems as my own. I’ll feel smothered, frustrated, annoyed, and feel useless. My therapist referred to this as a “Helper Personality.” He told me I want to heal people and to make sure that their lives are all right.

He told me that makes me a two on the Enneagram scale, and there’s nothing wrong with that, other than it opens me up to being taken advantage of. People will flock to that. I’ve experienced that on many levels, and it’s heartbreaking every time.

Many times I wish I could change my personality type and be someone else for a few days, or at least a few hours. Wanting to help others has always been a personal downfall, and has caused difficulties while my intentions were good. I’ve always taken the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I’ve recently learned that I can’t do that anymore. It’s caused me mental and physical ailments. It’s caused me to pull back from friendships and relationships, sever ties with people I’ve known for years because I can’t take being taken advantage of any further. I’ve been frustrated with people, and it’s caused quite a bit of anger in my life. Anger that was never there before.

Sometimes the best solution, it seems, is to sit back and do nothing. I’ll never be one of those people. I’ll never be the type that can sit back and do nothing while other people are suffering. I fear I’ll always leave myself open to being taken advantage of until there’s nothing left of me. I will not let that hinder me from trying. I will not let that stop me from helping people when I can.

If anything, I want to make a difference in the world. If I can do that for one person, then that is a successful mission. I don’t want to be saved, but I want others to know there are difficulties and trials to being the helper personality type in the group. There are ups and downs to every personality type, but I’ve always found that the benefits of helping someone greatly outweigh the negative side.

TagsHelperPersonality TypespersonalitypsychologyEnneagram
Previous Article

The Devil He Became Part 2

Next Article

Poem: Black

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Sarah Dowell

Just a girl from the midwest with a lifelong passion for writing.

Related articles More from author

  • Woman eyes
    StyleMediaCreativityEnvironmentMemoriesHealthDesign

    My Affliction – Excoriation

    September 17, 2018
    By Tracie Hicks
  • http://akashbloggs.blogspot.com/2012/09/of-masked-faces-and-hazy-personas.html
    CultureEnvironmentHealth

    Understanding The Difference Between Psychopaths And Sociopaths

    April 9, 2018
    By Katie Robinson
  • https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2017-05/31/3/campaign_images/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane-02/discutez-avec-ce-choixpeau-magique-et-il-vous-dir-2-20876-1496214710-1_dblbig.jpg
    MemoriesHealthCultureMedia

    The Psychology Inside the Sorting Hat

    December 18, 2017
    By Katie Robinson
  • Scale
    FashionHealthLifestyleNonfictionCultureFamilyRelationshipsHome

    Eating Disorders: Class is in Session

    May 2, 2022
    By Allie Lynn
  • CreativityFictionMemoriesHomeDesign

    Radicalism: A Glimpse Into My Psyche

    September 10, 2018
    By Keely Messino
  • Sheet Music Book
    MusicCreativityFictionEntertainment

    Pianoforte – Part 4

    July 27, 2020
    By Deannad

Leave a reply Cancel reply

You may be interested

  • Mask
    PoetryHomeCultureEnvironmentCreativityHealth

    Trying Times

  • MediaHealthPoliticsCulture

    #MeToo… So Now What?

  • CultureRelationshipsPoetry

    Bigger

Timeline

  • March 27, 2023

    You

  • March 27, 2023

    Ma Millie-6

  • March 27, 2023

    Why Genuine Gratitude Wins Over Urgent Apology

  • March 27, 2023

    Burying her… alive?

  • March 27, 2023

    Building Habits

Latest Comments

  • Ugonma Okoroafor
    on
    March 26, 2023
    I heard your podcast discussion for my New Media and Communications course at Full Sail. I ...

    The Evolution Of Fluffy

  • Jill Grinnell
    on
    March 13, 2023
    Lovely

    I want to fly

  • Ritu Anand
    on
    March 13, 2023
    Thank you so much Vikash.

    I want to fly

  • Vikash Goyal
    on
    March 13, 2023
    Beautiful writing!

    I want to fly

  • The Different Types of Science Fiction - E. M. Sherwood Foster
    on
    March 11, 2023
    […] My serial publication The North Wind at Coffee House Writers! Part 1 is here. […]

    The North Wind – Part 1

Find us on Facebook

About us

  • coffeehousewriters3@gmail.com

Follow us

© Copyright 2018-2022 Coffee House Writers. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s administrator and owner is strictly prohibited.