In normal circumstances, planning a wedding is stressful. There are too many moving pieces and things to juggle. In most instances you have to budget, find a venue, find a photographer, buy a dress, rent or buy a suit, find a DJ, choose flowers, pick the menu, coordinate your wedding party, and choose a cake. Then you have to make sure you have everything ready to go for your wedding day. Now add a global pandemic, full of uncertainty, fear, and ruined plans on top of that, and you’ve got quite the catastrophe.

My husband and I had a wedding this past summer which was a rollercoaster of tears, anxiety, and fear due to the pandemic. We had everything planned and done about a year before our big day. We were decisive about what we wanted and were just waiting to get closer to the date. We tried to go for a no-stress approach and it worked fairly well.

It’s worth mentioning that no matter how much you plan in advance, life sometimes has a way of throwing things your way last-minute. That’s exactly what happened to us. We were no longer worrying about what centerpieces to choose, we were trying to figure out if having a reception was worth it. My heart goes out to all those who had to reschedule their COVID weddings, or had to drastically change their weddings.

We were extremely lucky. Our state had a low number of COVID cases. Most of our guest list narrowed itself down, and those who weren’t comfortable traveling watched our ceremony streamed on YouTube. My husband’s aunt made masks for all of our guests. We had safety measures in place and stuck with them. And no one got sick from our wedding.

Whether you’re planning a wedding during a pandemic, or thinking about a future date and all your plans are up in the air, this article is for you. Here are seven tips I hope will help you during this crazy time:

1. Give yourself some slack. Whether it’s with planning a wedding or just existing right now, take deep breaths and don’t get wrapped up in trying to make everything perfect. You’re living through a pandemic. Take breaks when you need to and ask for help when you need it.
2. Keep an open mind. What you think you want may end up not being what you end up with. While my fiancé and I were looking for venues, we both agreed we wouldn’t do a golf course or country club. That kind of setting just didn’t make sense for us. We ended up touring a golf course as an after-thought, and fell in love with the venue and got married there.
3. Get organized. I already lived for spreadsheets and lists, but I can’t even begin to explain how helpful it was to organize everything in Google drive to share with my fiancé. I had a spreadsheet for everything: venue options, honeymoon options, guest list, gift list. It helped having everything together in one space that I could access on my computer and my phone.
4. Set a budget and keep track of your spending. I created a spreadsheet for those two as well, which helped put into perspective how much everything was costing. It also helped us figure out where we could splurge and where we could save.
5. Stick to your guns. It’s your wedding after all. There’s no right or wrong way to have a wedding. You can stick with traditions or make your own. While it’s nice to have family and friends’ thoughts, you and your fiancé’s are the only ones that truly matter.
6. Keep in mind the “why.” It’s easy to get caught up in all the bullshit. Honestly, sometimes wedding planning isn’t even that fun, especially during a pandemic. It’s okay to change your plans. As long as you and your partner keep focused on your love for each other, everything will eventually pan out.
7. Have fun! Your wedding is the first step in your adventure of marriage. Focus on loving your partner and enjoy the adventure.