Every organization needs a leader. Fortune 500 companies have a CEO. My family has me. I am mom—the queen of logistics, the finder of lost objects, and the keeper of the schedules. This amazing title comes with a long list of responsibilities and an endless ticker tape of tasks to do. The mental load of being the organizer can cause overwhelming chaos. Chaos leads to exhaustion. Living in a constant state of turmoil is not sustainable long term. So how do I find calm in the storm of my overloaded mind? Good question. Let’s unpack the answer.

Find Your System

When life pulls in a million different directions, it requires a system to keep everything organized. As I scroll through social media, my feed is inundated by 5 am risers, massive meal preppers, and whiteboards with color-coded schedules. If one or all these ideas work for you—GREAT! If not, do not be discouraged. Someone else’s perfect system does not need to be yours. What is important is that you try things until you find something that helps, or at least works for right now.

My personal system involves an actual paper planner and multiple-colored pens. The act of writing helps my brain to process. A family calendar and a large whiteboard also help me to organize the chaos. I need to see things in front of me. Apps and computer programs do not give me the same calm that physical writing does. This system works for me. Figure out what works for you, and don’t be afraid to change it. Nothing is set for life. The world is constantly developing— shift with it.

Share the Load

We start using the word share when children are toddlers. It is a skill we strive to cultivate from the beginning of a person’s life. It is time to share the important heavy tasks like our children do with Legos. You are one person with one brain and a finite amount of energy. Ask for reinforcements.

I know what you are thinking—it takes longer if I explain it to someone else. This might be true in the beginning. But as time progresses, tasks will become easier and lighter as we share them equally. No one is taking away your role as CEO. Instead, you are capitalizing on your position of power and handing off some work to the minions.

Don’t Make Assumptions

As your brain ticks through the list of who, what, where, and why, do not assume that the people around you are working off the same list. The obvious tasks to you may not touch on your partner’s radar. Rather than assuming they know and then allowing frustration and anger to take hold when they are not helping, tell them. Yes. Speak up and explain the present need. No one wins a trophy for doing it alone and being the most exhausted at bedtime. Being livid with someone for not reading your mind is also unfair. It happens. But evil death stares from across the room when they are clueless does not help the process.

It’s Hard—Keep Trying

If you are a natural-born caretaker like me, wandering through the chaos may seem the most logical and attractive option. Complete control is in your hands. Nothing left to chance. Explore the definition of finite energy, though. It is impossible for one person to hold complete control. Ultimately, the energy is spent, and things are missed because a single human cannot manage the lives of multiple people. Releasing control is hard. Keep trying. Choose small steps to share the load in tiny ways. If the chaos consumes you, the mental load increases in weight. Take a break. Redefine what is important. Pull out the portions that are shareable. Try a new system. Make a new plan.

Seek Out Calm

Take your role as family CEO seriously, but do not sacrifice your peace. The mental load is heavy. I concur that someone needs to be in charge and coordinate the chaos. But do so while seeking your calm. We want to enjoy our days, not simply manage our time.