Morality is something questionable, built upon a multitude of variables. I learned from a very early age that those who shout louder about their holiness are the ones hiding the ugliest sins. If even Adonis drowned in his vanity, how would a mere mortal fight against temptation?

That parent-teacher meeting had two big effects. After realizing how Josh felt, first, I needed more — of my future, of him, of us. My time away from my son was pure torment, only made bearable by the precious few minutes we spent at school. Those were no longer enough.

The second came to my attention during one of my classes. I was writing on the chalkboard when I heard whispers and giggles. When I turned around, my students went quiet, so I pouted and crossed my arms.

“That’s not fair, guys. I wanna have fun with you, too. Ain’t you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

They loved every time I showed them I wanted to join the conversation instead of reprimanding them, and they always laughed at it.

“We’re talking about you, Miss Graham!”

I gasped.

“Good things or bad things, Hernando?”

“Good things! Like romantic ones!”

The room exploded with tee-hees.

“Romance is so you, Deborah. Fill me in on the details.”

“We think you and Mr. Steele make a great couple!”

“Yeah! And my mom thinks so too, since the day of the meeting!”

Anthony and Kaleb had the last word before they got even louder. I played along before asking them to calm down and tried to explain that wasn’t how things worked, but I’d consider their opinion.

The thought of being with him, and the parents joining the choir, made me feel queasy. I didn’t want the kids to witness such an unpleasant emotion, so I brushed it off as I let them out for lunch.

Soon enough, I learned the little angels started spreading the rumor everyone wanted to see Rick and me together. I tried to keep all interactions with him professional and avoided being alone with that goon at all costs.

Unfortunately, word got to him, and he wouldn’t leave me alone. Richard constantly sought ways to be a nuisance, cracking endless jokes and relentlessly pressuring me to go out with him.

I started questioning whether killing him was an option. I wondered if I was hearing my inner demons or doing the universe a favor by getting rid of that awful man.

Two weeks later, the answer came with no effort. I left school past six and had to walk through the parking lot. Halfway to the exit, I noticed Rick’s car was still there. I’d been about to spit when his yapping and heavy steps sent me scrambling behind a dumpster.

His voice became louder, not only because he was getting closer, but because he was on the phone screaming at someone. 

“I swear to God, Barbara. If I knew you’d still be bitching about what happened, I would’ve beaten you worse. Maybe that would teach you to mind your own business.”

He was silent, and a beep told me he had unlocked his car. One heard violent sounds from inside the vehicle; simultaneously, a cry. Rick slammed the door and muttered.

“Let me clarify this to you because you are so fucking dense that not even a broken nose made you understand — don’t you dare go to the cops to snitch on me, okay, Barb?”

Rick’s tone changed. He wasn’t the same funny, clumsy guy, who was adored and sought-after by every woman in town.

“Not a single word about this, y’a hear?! No, no, no, this is neither a crime nor abuse. This is me being a real man and putting you in your place. And if you ever call me again, I’ll kill those goddamn dogs you have and bury you in the same spot as them.”

I saw him hang up, cover his mouth with his enormous hands, and yell. His face was red, and it reminded me of somebody. That perception became more intense when he started punching the hood of the car with such violence, it threw me back to that same afternoon when my father killed my mom.

He said things so twisted and brutal through his clenched teeth while he kicked the tires. I covered my mouth in shock. He got in, started the engine, then drove away. I waited ten minutes before getting up and going on my way.

Once home, I undressed and went straight to the shower. I turned it on and sat below the spray, hugging my knees. The warm water ran through my dyed hair, the floor colored in shades of gray.

It resembled my mother’s blood paint the living room. I traveled back to that day again and watched her last moments, gasping for air, as life escaped her lungs. That memory merged with Steele’s voice, warning the woman not to say anything about his deeds. Goosebumps went down my spine as I dried myself and headed to my bedroom.

The chilly night wind kissed my skin as I lay on my bed with my eyes closed. I tried to hold in my anger as much as possible, but the feelings raging inside me came out as a timid chuckle and soon became a shriek.

“So that’s your secret, Prince Charming.”

Winning the lottery would’ve felt cheaper. Richard was oxygen’s greatest waste, and the crushing relief of eliminating him wasn’t more than justified — it felt beneficial, even a blessing for humankind.

The idea entertained me, but reality slammed into me.

“I can’t do that. If I get rid of Rick out of the blue, Josh will remain with his caregiver. I need to bring him home.”

I growled. Steele would have been dealt with swiftly years ago for crossing my path, but times are different now. Motherhood changed and blessed me. I pictured the tall blond himbo, caring for nobody except for his sorry self, so despicable he had to threaten women to feel something. Living without purpose was sad, and I almost felt bad for him.

I sat for a couple of hours in stillness and reflection before an avalanche of thoughts jolted me out of bed.

“Wait a minute. Good old Jeremiah was just the same. A hollow man until he became a husband, a father, and finally, a sacrifice for my freedom. Oh! And Mr. Thompson too! His life would be meaningless without his wife and kids, and fate made our paths cross so he could be immolated to help me reach Josh.”

I walked fast in circles inside my bedroom.

“And that means… I should be the one to give Richard his life’s purpose, a chance to die for something bigger than himself. That’s it!”

How could I be so naïve not to see that before? His approach, the attitude of coming into my life — none of that happened by chance. It was my fate to make every drop of blood I’d spill from him worth it.

The tips of my fingers became tingly, begging to tend my trustworthy knife in my hands, slicing flesh. I opened my nightstand and pulled it out of its resting place. Its blade was clean and shiny, like an infinite mirror where I could see my future unfold. 

“You, my companion, deserve better than this nothingness. You deserve some warm blood to taint you in crimson. Soon, my beloved, we will fulfill our desires. Soon.”

*  *  *  *  *

The next morning, my students were very talkative, which thrilled me. I finished my class early and walked to Josh’s room. As I had a free pass, I knocked and waited. The teacher shushed the kids, and they all giggled. 

They love this clown.

“Come in!”

I opened the door, revealing my outfit slowly. Shanaya’s legacy was there — the light makeup was perfect for making my blue eyes pop, the cinched dress and heels made my body sexier, and I didn’t look vulgar.

His students gasped and wowed.

“You are so pretty, Ms. Graham!”

“Thank you, Melissa. Not to bother everyone, I just wanted to speak with Mr. Steele.”

“S-sure! It’ll be a moment, guys!”

He walked to the door as a thirsty man would walk toward a glass of water.

“You shouldn’t come here dressed this nice, you know? I’m so distracted, I might not teach for the rest of the day.” 

His whispering proved he had fallen for the bait.

“Well, why don’t we have lunch together so you can tell me how I can keep you focused?”

Richard’s eyes opened wider, confused.

“Wait, what? A-are you serious? The both of us?”

I smiled.

“Don’t keep me waiting.”

As I turned and walked away, I could hear him celebrating. My heels striking the floor matched my steady heartbeat, and I knew another gear of fate’s intricate mechanism had turned.