Dear Danny,

I know your new residence is not far from here. I’m afraid “Here” happens to be the courthouse lockup. Yep! I am under arrest. But I am innocent, as you know, I wouldn’t hurt a fly. It was not my fault that the drunk’s jaw accidentally connected with my fist just before he hit the pub’s floorboards.

Oh, my cell’s oil lamp is beginning to fade, so in brief, I would appreciate your HELP! Could you please, at your earliest convenience, come over and bail me out of this awkward situation, this black hole is so damp and cold.

Your little brother
Ivor