Recently, my husband and I took the upperclassmen from our small private school on a college trip. We traveled twelve hours (one way) from our rural community to Maranatha Baptist University in Watertown, Wisconsin.  In preparation for this event, the school rented a Ford Transit for us to take. No one said anything, but I got the feeling our dilapidated vehicles didn’t exactly fill the administration with confidence that we would make it in one piece. Let’s face it, when you’ve hit deer, run over countless porcupines, and had a bear try to break into the car while camping, it doesn’t do much for the aesthetics of the vehicle.

The Transit was very plush looking. It was a 2016, clean, and very much dent-free. We were pleased with the rearview camera embedded in the rearview mirror. My Ford Expedition is so old that the technology wasn’t standard for big vehicles at the time of its creation. Another huge score was plenty of cupholders. I am a firm believer that you can never have too many cupholders in a vehicle. I also have a firm belief that every skirt and pair of slacks should have working pockets.

My husband and I couldn’t help it; we started comparing our Expedition with the Transit. The Transit had very comfortable seats. I have never been on a long trip without getting sore in my gluteus maximus (a.k.a.: saddle sore). The seats in the Transit were so comfortable that I never got sore, just restless from sitting so long. My daughter, who was part of the group, said the back seats weren’t so nice. But she also has a habit of complaining when the sun is shining, so her opinion was taken with a grain of salt.

Another great feature was the tones of the reminder lights. For example, when my husband stopped and left the lights on, a very pleasant bing—bing—bing alerted us to the fact. It was like a butler saying, “Excuse me sir, but I believe you forgot something.”  The Expedition is totally different. It sounds more like a fishwife hollering on the wharves of Glouster. “Hey, you! Yeah, you! You left your lights on, idiot!” Much less polite and refined than the Transit.

While the Transit had a lot of great features, it was lacking one essential for a long trip. If you guess cruise control, you get the prize. This is a two-year-old vehicle. It’s called a Transit, for crying out loud. It is made for travel. Lots of space, comfy seats, but no cruise control. We were appalled. I checked the owner’s manual to make sure we just weren’t missing it. Right where it was supposed to be was blank space. No cruise control. Unbelievable!

Twelve hours, one way, in a ten-passenger van filled to the brim with people and luggage. Most of those people are teenagers who were uncertain, wound up, hesitant, reluctant, excited or all of the above. There was a lot of energy. Even when the little darlings were asleep, slumped over in the unhealthiest way for their back, there was still a charge of energy on the way. So, how did we survive the trip?

1. Bring on the snacks.

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Noshing is a great way to pass the time. It may not be so great for the waistlines of us adults, but teenagers, in general, have an amazing metabolism to go with their never-ending need for snacks. I had instructed the group ahead of time to pack lightly but to feel free to bring all the snacks they wanted. Of course, they brought junk food. I did learn of a new flavor in Pringles that I never knew existed: Dill Pickle chips. Could it possibly get any better? Those of us who enjoy pickles and chips on their sandwiches can now have the best of both worlds in one product. The student who brought them was munching on them not too far into the trip. I could smell the pickle, and wondered if she had brought a jar. She explained what they were, then offered me a taste. These chips were a revelation to me. I realized as I took a swig of my caramel latte that it was barely eight in the morning and I had already had Pringles chips, Ferraro Rocher truffles, and Pop-Tarts. The breakfast of champions, undoubtedly.

2. Use only leaded fuel.

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I don’t mean gasoline; I mean coffee. And I don’t mean the students. I mean adults, specifically, me. I admit that part of the need for a constant flow of caffeine is because I was up way too late the night before we left. Another part is that I have an addiction to coffee and should probably look into joining some sort of group. In the meantime, I was perfectly happy sipping my first mocha peppermint latte of the season while bombing through Chicago traffic. I drink only caffeinated coffee. I mean, decaf? What is the point of that anyway? It’s like using unleaded fuel. No power and messes up the engine.

3. Stop and stretch frequently.

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This is a great strategy whether you are traveling with a group or by yourself. On a long trip, say twelve hours or so, your brain can get a little road weary. Being on the highway immediately puts a driver on high alert, and sustaining that for long periods of time without a break can be not only tiring but dangerous. Stopping every two to three hours to stretch and get some fresh air helps your body to freshen up a little bit. It helps everyone to stretch their muscles and get out of the seats for a few minutes which can greatly boost morale after about eight hours. Plus, if you have been taking advantage of tip number two, then you’ll have to stop anyway to use the restrooms.

We employed this strategy many times. One stop was for refueling my caffeine addiction and using the bathrooms. So efficient!  While we were in the bathroom, I saw something new. Maybe I am just behind the times, but I thought this feature was genius.  There was a mouthwash dispenser. There were little disposable cups available, like the ones McDonald’s and Burger King use to dispense ketchup. The mouthwash was pumped out of a similar contraption to the condiment variety. So, the next time you are in a Dunkin’ Donuts and want to freshen up your breath, check the bathroom for complimentary mouth wash.

So don’t hesitate the next time you are planning a trip and it turns into a group trip. Three simple steps will help the time to pass more easily and sanely. The key to enjoying the journey is not to push too hard, keep a sense of humor, and eat Pringles dill pickle chips and drink lots of coffee.