Tag: eating disorder
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Dear Self
Self, My first clear memory is of violence. I said something that warranted having my mouth washed out with soap. Of course, nobody wants soap in their mouth, so I cried, screamed, and fought my mother. I was slapped, pinned down, and yelled at. I do not remember how, but I got out of her ... -
Cooking As A Weapon
Trigger Warning: The following article discusses Eating Disorders, calorie counting, and mental health. I come from a family of southern cooks. When I asked my mother for an Easy-Bake Oven, she told me, “Adele, that thing is a light bulb in a box. If you want to learn, I’ll show you how a real ... -
The other “E”
***Trigger Warning: Following Article Deals With Eating Disorders*** When recovering from an eating disorder, the most prominent “E” is eating. When should I eat? Where am I eating? What should I eat? Why should I eat? How can I possibly eat? The roller coaster of that “E” feels like an endless ride. But there is ... -
It’s A Fight To The Death: Part Two
Trigger warning: Eating disorder Do you ever have a nightmare where no matter how hard you try to run, your legs will not seem to move? It is terrifying to lose control of your limbs during a dream, but that is exactly what happened to me when the sun was out on a Saturday morning ... -
Core Beliefs
I often wonder when I’ll be able to let go of core beliefs I’ve held for as long as I can remember. One constantly plagues me, and I’d love to kick it in the face one day and never look back. In about four month’s time, it’ll be three years since I had my weight ... -
It’s A Fight To The Death: Part 1
Trigger warning: eating disorders, anorexia athletica, orthorexia NEDAwareness Week 2020 begins February 24th and what better way to start this month than to tell my story? It is crazy to think this piece of my life will be on the Internet forever. But before I begin, I would like to remind you of a few ... -
I Suck At Sleeping (And What I Do About It)
Although I’ve been fighting depression for a majority of my life, anxiety tends to go hand in hand with it. The two like to tag-team me so that when one drops out, the other can step in. But I react to them in different ways. With depression, all I want to do is lounge around ... -
Everything Is Ruined Now
***Trigger Warning:*** The following article discusses mental health and eating disorders. Black and white. That’s how I’ve lived my life. If something doesn’t go my way, it can never be the same again. Everything is either perfect or ruined. I’ve been a perfectionist since I was a child. I didn’t play sports because I wasn’t immediately good ... -
Learning To Love Myself At A Size 22
***Trigger Warning: Following Article Deals With Eating Disorders*** “Yeah it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two But I can shake it, shake it like I’m supposed to do” Meghan Trainor All About That Bass Lyrics I have a bigger body. I’ve always been tall (I stand at 6’4”), but I don’t remember being fat until ... -
What Does Eating Disorder Recovery Look Like?
***Trigger Warning: Following Article Deals With Eating Disorders*** I went to an eating disorder support group meeting, Sunday night. The topic: ‘Laps and Relapse’ got me to thinking about my struggles, and how I wish I were further along on my recovery. You see, two years ago, I was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder ...
