*Trigger warnings*

Depression, Divorce, Death/loss, grief
Suicide, Mental illness, violent content
Reader discretion is advised
***

The welfare of Micki was starting to look slim and bleak for a young sixteen-year-old like herself. She heard ambulance staff trying to keep her alive. Her vision was a bit hazy and blurred, trying to open her eyes. How it is that Micki is conscious, in an ambulance, and is clinging to life despite her wounds, she could not know or care. It was as if God himself was allowing her to suffer by keeping her barely alive. If Micki had it her way, she would have wanted to die in that forest alongside her mother.

Micki moaned as if she were asking about her mom, even if she knew the truth of what happened. Or so Micki believed her mother was. “M… m… mom..?” she finally moaned a little more and tried to sit up, hoping her mother was somehow there. But then a gentle hand helped force her down, as she was given about fifteen different versions of stay put on the gurney. Micki heard a rapid beeping from the heart monitor as she hyperventilated and tried to get up once more. Her blurred vision, for a split second, saw Paul nearby her trying to get Micki to calm down.

“Ma’am, you need to stay calm for me. We’re almost to the hospital,” an emergency medic in the hospital ordered as Micki continued to panic.

The more she moaned for her mother, the more tears streamed down Micki’s face. She hoped that by continuing to call for her mom, someone would give her what she wanted to hear: that her mother was miraculously still alive. That her stupid wish did not make her go through much heartache, suffering, and fear from being alone in that forest. That the forest she so arrogantly told herself she would survive in was just a pure nightmare concocted by the car accident.

However, the truth of what really happened would remain an emotional scar that she would carry for the rest of her life. No matter how much Micki denied everything or called for her mom, the unfortunate truth would remain her last sane memory of her mother. It was as real as the smell of pine trees, gas fumes, and blood hanging in the air with a gentle breeze sifting through each tree branch. She could remember her entire body feeling like sandbags and lead as she began to open her eyes. She groaned, trying to make sense of where she was, who she was, anything and everything starting to become more conscious.

As Micki fought to stay awake, she noticed her head was hurting. With all strength she could gather in her hands, she gingerly touched the left side of her head. She lowered it to see the evidence of blood upon her fingers. “Is this real..?” Micki thought to herself as she tried to gather enough strength to sit up. Seeing she would be unable to do so, she reluctantly stayed put. “Stupid deer,” she thought once again, remembering at least that before she blacked out from the collision.

“Mom . . . ?” Micki moaned out, attempting to reach toward her seatbelt despite overwhelming pain in her head. “Mom . . . ? I think I have a concussion,” Micki added as her hands trembled but were somehow able to unlatch her seatbelt. When there was no response from her mother, that was when panic rose within her. Micki turned her head, seeing her own mother having taken the full impact of the crash. The left side of her mother’s head was glistening with a horrifying crimson shine, and the entirety of her mother’s body appeared pale and lifeless.

“Mom? Mom?” Micki yelled out, immediately fearing the worst, with adrenaline kicking in and miraculously gathering enough strength to open the passenger side door. Without hesitation, she opened the driver’s door, her worst fear coming true as her mother’s body leaned and slumped out of the car. It became an out-of-body experience like Micki heard about when it came to television or works of fiction. She never thought it could happen, especially not to her, until now as she felt tears dripping down her face and began to hyperventilate without a scream coming from her mouth. It was every loved one’s worst nightmare, even when it came to the rebellious teen, who just moments ago never wanted anything to do with her mother.

“Mom, please . . . Come back, wake up, please,” she breathed out, sobbing and cradled her mother within her arms. It felt like a lifetime. Micki held her mother close to her, not wanting to let go of the lifeless body. Her teenage angst and hatred toward her mother melted away with every passing second. Micki gave a small sniff and briefly looked up to notice the sky getting dark, with the forest’s landscape becoming more sinister and unwelcoming. Micki shivered and held her mother closer as if she were a little girl holding a teddy bear.

The hooting of a nearby owl made Micki jump, holding her mother tighter against her chest. “Mom . . . ?” Micki whispered as if speaking to her body would bring her mother to life and make everything go away.

However, the inevitable dawned on Micki with every second she stayed put. She was a sitting duck for predators. God knew what could be in store within the forest. Tears sprang to her eyes once again, and sniffed as she turned her mother’s face toward hers. She could not bear to leave her own mother alone. However, she knew her mother would want Micki to stay strong and get help.

“Mom,” Micki whispered as her whole body began to shiver, thinking of the inevitable that she would have to do. “Mom, I’m going to get help for us. I’m going to try and be strong, as you always knew I could be. I’ll be the mighty Micki as you always called me. I love you so much, Mom . . . I hope you know that,” Micki whispered once more as she gave a small kiss goodbye on her mother’s forehead and gently set her down.

She then took every strength she had within to stand up. Micki was now alone, with no one to hold her hand or help her through this mess. She may regret and desire to take back what happened, but what was done was done.

With every ounce of strength, she had to force herself to turn away from her mother’s body. Once Micki did, she ran with as much adrenaline she could muster. Tears continued to stream down her face as she continued to run toward the inner boundaries of the forest. However, the pain and agony from everything that happened will turn into more than simply going to get help. Micki would have to further prove how strong she really could be if she had any hope of surviving, especially when it came to everything that nature itself had to offer.

**If you or someone is experiencing a mental health crisis or has been experiencing severe loss and depression, call 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727), the national suicide prevention lifeline (1-800-273-8255), text CONNECT or HOME to the crisis text line at 741741, or call 911**