It is common for people to make New Year’s resolutions, and look at the beginning of a new year almost as a new lease on life. It’s perfectly normal to want to put the previous year behind you and start fresh with a clean slate. However, rather than writing out a concrete list of resolutions that you must complete in the New Year, it may be more beneficial to take a different approach to set goals for the new year. Every December I find myself, like so many others, thinking about my list of resolutions for the coming year.

According to Forbes, only 8% of people actually complete their New Year resolutions. Instead, set goals and make sure that they are realistic, set small achievable goals, or milestones within your bigger overarching goal. Remember, you can always make a “resolution” — it does not just have to be at the beginning of the year. It can be at the beginning of the month or at any time. Continue growing, changing, and adapting every day.

Here are some suggestions that you might want to consider to make a more positive beginning to the New Year:

1. Reflect

Really think about the past year. Appreciate everything that happened, no matter how good or how bad. Each experience builds on the next and helps you grow as a person.

2. Express Gratitude

Try to look at the past year as a glass-half-full instead of half-empty by thinking about what you are thankful for. No matter what hand fate may have dealt you in the past, chances are really high that if you put some effort into it, you can make positive changes for the future, and find things that you are thankful for and that you can learn from.

3. Let Go

Try your best to let go of the things that you cannot control. We all carry things with us that can weigh us down. Consider seeing a counselor to help sort out your concerns. Sometimes it is easier to talk things out with someone who has professional experience and has no bias regarding your situation. Be as open and honest as possible about your feelings with people in your life. This will lighten your load, and improve your overall well-being.

4. Identify A Support System

Who are the people that you can talk to? Who makes you feel worthy, loved, or leaves you smiling? After you’ve identified these people, think about ways that you can stay connected with each other on a regular basis. Schedule coffee dates, or lunch with the girls. Make time to get together to blow off some steam and have a little fun.

5. Set Intentions, Not Resolutions

Look at the big picture. Who do you want to be? Do you want to be someone who can appreciate the small things in life? What will give you a sense of fulfillment? Set some small and realistic goals. If you do not get everything on your to-do list done… that is okay. Prioritize the things that you need to get done with a hard deadline, and tackle those items first. Try not to be too hard on yourself with the other items on the list. You had the intention and were open to exploring your options, and that in itself is more than half the battle. Continue to work at it, and remember that it is a process. Learn to appreciate the fact that you tried and will either try again or make some adjustments along the way. Just take things one day at a time instead of all at once.

In the long-run, you really have no one to answer to except for yourself. More often than not, however, we are our own worst critics and beat ourselves up the most for not meeting our goals. Treat yourself as you would a good friend instead — you would not harp on them for not meeting some unrealistic expectation, unexpectedly getting sick, or making the wrong decision, would you? Treat yourself with the same kind of loving care as you would someone else. This is easier said than done, and certainly an ongoing process. By taking the pressure off yourself you will help to change your mindset. I bet you are probably pretty darn good just as you are anyway if you really take the time to think about it and see yourself from a different perspective. By avoiding the resolution cycle, you will learn greater acceptance of yourself and in turn, better self-love and self-care.