We spend the majority of our formative years waiting to grow up. Then we grow up enough to be able to do everything we wanted to do as children and all we want to do is go back to having naptime after lunch. I recently turned 30 a few weeks ago,  and I have been thinking about the movie 13 Going on 30.

 The movie tells the story of a girl who wishes that she was turning 30 during her 13th birthday party. Then she wakes up, and suddenly she’s 30. She spends the rest of the movie figuring out what happened over the past 17 years. Then, in the end, she wishes she was 13 again, and she gets the chance to change the course of her life. 

I was 14 when the movie came out, and I could never understand why she wanted to be 30, instead of being in her late 20s. I didn’t see the difference a few years could make. 

Now that I am 30 years old, I understand now. The thing about your 20s is that the majority of them are spent going to college, going to bars on the weekends, learning what alcohol you like (if you like any of it at all.) Then you graduate and look for a job.  Most people expect to have a job and be moving up the ladder after a few years.

 The first few weeks of my 30s have been spent feeling upset that I am in the same position I was when I graduated four years ago. 

The fact is I’m not in the same position I was 4 years ago. I would have never dared talk about anything that might potentially offend anyone. I would have expected everyone around me to have some semblance of morality.

 I am still 12 with the ability to drink coffee and alcohol. The only difference is that I am responsible for paying the bills and following through with my commitments. What if I forget to plug in my phone, and I don’t wake up on time because I missed my alarm? I can’t scream at my parents that they should have woken me up. It falls on me. A mocha is adult chocolate milk to keep you awake because you don’t have the never-ending energy running through your veins anymore. Boneless chicken wings are just fancy chicken nuggets. Wine is just adult juice.

 I regularly use coloring to help me cope with stress. Bars have theme nights like Spirit Week at school. You can get kicked out for bad behavior, and jail is way worse than being grounded. I hope that eventually, I’ll feel like I am an adult. I’ll settle for traveling in this alternate universe Neverland called life for now though.

Featured Photo by DigiPD courtesy of Pixabay