They say challenges are meant to help you grow emotionally and mentally. They show strength beneath pain and mark the growth of character. I remind myself of this whenever I confront the cracked wall deep within my mind – A barrier of depression traps me in past mistakes and regrets, as if they are proof I’ll never be good enough. 

I hoped that by the tenth attempt, I would overcome that obstacle and reach joy, believing pain would end and I’d be free from more drama. Then, I could stop dwelling on mistakes and fears, and simply live confidently in who and where I am. There would be no need to think about past bullying that made me feel worthless. Failed relationships that left me emotionally damaged with a lack of trust. Nor would social pressure weigh so heavily on me, demanding I achieve success in order to be seen as effective in society’s eyes.

I’d be genuinely happy, not pretending with a fake smile. Yet, whenever I almost grasp the light above the barricade, it slips away, and I fall back to the bottom. It seems like, despite my efforts, I always land in the same place. Each failure sends waves of emotion through me: disappointment, despair, rage. I ask myself, how can I feel strong and love myself if I’m always back at square one? It’s like a broken record stuck on the same painful melody, making me question my worth. For a moment, I almost surrendered. Tears well up, sobs escape in soft coughs. I wonder how much more I can take. 

“Hey!” someone calls, snapping me from my thoughts. Instead of a person, a small gleam shines down, like a lone star through the clouds. It was like a beacon of hope had broken through the shadows clouding the space around, urging me to continue onwards towards the future. It spoke with gentle kindness and a firm tone, like a watchful guardian keeping eyes out for me. You can’t give up! You need to keep going, the childlike voice echoes. Part of me wants to yell, still unsure how to keep going when everything looks hopeless. As if reading my mind, the unknown figure speaks again.

I know it isn’t easy. You want better, and you’re tired of fighting. But it takes time. More than you or I expect. It will come if we wait and keep trying. The small blaze brightens, enveloping me warmly. You are stronger than you realize, more loved than you know. Inside the illumination, I see loved supporters, dreams, and ambitions pushing forward, reminding me of the good I have. 

Sometimes you have to believe in yourself. The voice becomes me, sitting atop the wall, with a golden aura. We will get there. A single step at a time. In an instant, the figure vanishes, leaving only the radiance. 

Silence returns, but it leaves behind a new determination. My inner self is right. I can’t give up on my story. These may be my darkest chapters, but that doesn’t mean the story won’t get better. By focusing on the good in my life, seeking continual support from professionals, and practicing skills to help me let go of past trauma, things can slowly get better. Perhaps not right away, but even the little steps can make a big difference.

A smile forms. I prepare to climb again, holding on to support and dreams. Eventually, I’ll reach the other side. Until then, I shall keep trying, no matter how often I fall. I still have a lot to live for and one great story to write.

Editor: Lucy Cafiero