Not having you here has seemed like a dream that I cannot wake from. You were here when I left and when I came back to reality you were gone. I

Ask myself, why? Why so soon? Why wouldn’t I go to you sooner? Why, why, why…

Now it’s too late. The time to make better choices is gone. As a little girl, I looked up to you. As a teenager, I used to enjoy spending time watching horror movies together. As an adult, I wished I was closer to you.

Now all I have are memories of who you used to be. Memories of our time together. The way you laughed or sang to the oldies or rolled your eyes at the horrible movie plots.

Ugly tears, elegies, and bible verses are how I’ll last spend time with you. You’re already gone, no goodbyes, no last chances, just emptiness. So, I’ll immortalize you in words on a page, in letters on a screen, and in ink on my skin. Inħobbok.