Intentional Joy
Pixar movies should come with warning labels before seeing them. It could read, “Will experience intense emotions and thoughts. BEWARE.” Once again, the franchise hit it out of the park with “Inside Out 2.” Like everyone else, I saw the critically exclaimed movie, and it got me thinking. The storyline created a dialogue for conversations around mental health. The part that stuck out to me was when Joy talked to all the other emotions about Riley’s newest emotion of anxiety. She rescinds from her usual bubbly personality and delivers the line, “I don’t know how to stop anxiety. Maybe we can’t. Maybe this is what happens when you grow up. You feel less joy.” I was breathless. Did we experience less happiness as we age? Were adults that jaded by their experience?
Often, positive emotions are not the first people find. I’ve observed when we grow up, we become more routine-based and less creative. My ability to be open to the world wavered. Responsibility is the priority at the forefront of our mind. Being a kid is the gift that nobody realizes they need until it goes away. There was no better time than a summer off of school with nothing to do and all day to do it in. The lack of schedule and endless play was something I had no clue that I missed. Structure wasn’t a necessity. It was the farthest thought from my mind. The world was my oyster and the freeness of it should’ve followed me into adulthood but it didn’t. Being an adult seemed like fun as a kid. We finally had control of the lives that we craved but no idea what we were doing. Imagination and play took a back seat and got lost on my to-do list without realizing it.
The last 4 years were an up-and-down roller coaster ride. Some days were great, and others were not. I got married, and a pandemic hit. We survived it. but we worked from home until 2021. We found great compromise when the hard times hit and laughter when the saddest ones tried to take us down. There was always the ‘but’ at the end of an accomplishment or life event. We did this or that, but that happened. This character’s quote got me thinking about how much negativity I allowed in. Not to discredit the sentiments that came up in said negative situations. The hope for these responses was they were valid and not out of pocket. But, like my mom always said, “Feel your feelings, but don’t stay there.” I did a fair amount of staying there and it became noticeable.
The start of my goal was small. Use one thing at a time to create the tiny ripple effect needed to enjoy my life and not get swept away by it. Lately, I turned to working out as the physical shift. I avoided exercise because I convinced myself that I didn’t have time for it. But, once I carved out a slot to move my body, I felt the difference in my mental state. I observed adjustments in my mood, tolerance, and energy levels.
The intentional mental adaptation I used was the redirection of thoughts. The idea proved to be trickier then I expected. Anxiety had always given me a plate of ‘what ifs’ to feast on. Instead, my focus was to walk away from the table of speculation and root myself into the right now. Sure, bad things could happen, but worrying about them won’t decide the outcome. Why ruin the current moment? That was the bite-sized way to describe my active effort at mindfulness. I remain flawed in my practices, but even the attempt at being more present has shifted something in my core. The calmness I felt had been unsettling, but it was the path I needed to make room for more joy in my world.
These changes are the tipping point I will use to create new experiences of excitement in my life. I want to hold tight to these joyful moments and not live in my head. I want to laugh more and allow myself to be silly for no reason. Responsibility and the things that need to get done will never go away. There’s space for both structure and exuberance. Glee doesn’t have to be something you lose when childhood ends. These tiny moments, and slivers of gratification, can mean so much more as an adult because they are so rare.