Friendship is one of the most fundamental parts of human nature. Don’t believe me? Think about your favorite movies, books, or even songs. I bet when you analyze it down to its core value, it has something to do with relationships.

 I’ve spent the last two years since I graduated college reading books, watching shows on Netflix in between searching for jobs on various different job sites, and ultimately not getting any of the jobs that even gave me an interview. I watched as my Facebook friends accepted job after job a few weeks after graduation, and with each rejection, I would apply for more jobs. I would be happy for my friends.

Who isn’t happy when their friends can afford a place to live and have food in order to survive? A selfish person, which is not an adjective that people generally use to describe me. I used the breaks in between my applying frenzy to watch the entire series of Grey’s Anatomy up to the most recent episodes on Netflix and Hulu. Now even if you don’t know anything about the show, I am sure you have heard someone use the phrase, “They are my person.”

According to Grey’s Anatomy terms, it’s a person who you would do anything for them, and the minute they need you, you are there for them no matter what. I mean if the main character, Meridith, was in surgery in one operating room, and her person, Cristina, was in another surgery, they would wait to talk about things until after their surgeries were over usually with alcohol.

This is how I always imagined friendships would be with people who you knew for years and would help you hide a body. I have my person; she is my best friend. The macaroni to my cheese. The cinnamon to my churro. I’ve talked to her every day for over ten years, and she is my sister at this point, not just a friend. I met her because she wrote a story that had a character I hated, and so I would write little stories in my reviews about punishing said character for the offenses he committed in the chapter. I instant messaged her on AOL one day. 

She thought I was another friend, and we figured out we liked a lot of the same things. We eventually exchanged numbers, and now we are roommates all of these years later. We had a year where we didn’t talk because I wasn’t being a good friend.

I wasn’t there for her when she needed me. I still cared and was happy she didn’t unfriend me on Facebook. The day we talked again it was like I had a piece of myself back. Okay, that’s a best friend, but what is a normal friend? Why do I have some friends where I like to check in on their lives and comment on Facebook posts? I don’t get mad when I don’t get to see them, or they can’t come here. I have friends who I obsess about books with, Doctor Who, and read everything they write.

The conclusion that I’ve come to is if those friends were able to come to spend time with me in person, they would. I’m not saying I’m a perfect friend, but I think the most important thing about friendship is that a person can think about you, and know that you will do whatever you can to keep that friendship alive. Life is messy, and I get that. People go through life changes. Don’t shut a friend out, make some time if possible, and if you are unable to do that, find another time. You never know when a person might need you most and that is what I’ve learned in my almost 28 years of life.