My life has been one problem after another these past few months. Despite my best efforts to keep moving forward, I have been miserable. I have been working towards becoming the best version of myself. I am awful at giving myself credit unless I accomplish my ultimate goal. Therapy is helping me realize that small steps count too. 

The fact is, though, that sometimes you can do everything in your power to make something happen, and it won’t happen. I’m dealing with that right now. I’m in the process of getting a new power chair. A friend was kind enough to come to take me to an evaluation for my chair after I was able to have a virtual visit with my orthopedist. She was amazing and put the orders in for my new chair, a Hoyer lift, and medicine to help with some bladder issues.  

Then I left messages for about a month after being told that I would be put on a list and receive a call about an appointment soon. I was finally able to schedule a wheelchair evaluation on the 4th of March. 

They assured me that I would get a temporary chair within a week or two so I could bring myself to the follow-up appointment. It’s supposed to be Friday. I have emailed the chair company twice. I keep getting told, “You need a new chair.” I know  I’m working on it. They said it should be ready in a few months. I feel like it will take longer, considering they said I would have a loaner within a few weeks, and it’s been nearly a month.

I know one day I will look back on this time in my life and laugh, and I know that people always say to put good vibes into the universe. I’m just trying to keep myself sane. 

The longer it takes, the angrier I feel. I keep telling myself that I have to keep waiting. I can continue with my goals. I’m sore from sitting and taking two Tylenol for pain before bed. This seems to be helping, and I keep telling myself that this is only temporary. The problem with waiting for something is that you can feel hopeless if you don’t know when it will end. Everything will work out in some way, and the wait will end. We’ll get through this together.