How do you move through your life without your usual comforts?

It was a question Lacey asked herself daily. Since moving to the city, the once-familiar sounds in her apartment have echoed hollowly, reminding her of emptiness rather than the relationships she had. She was rebuilding a world apart from June, Brooke, and now Syler. For the first time as an adult, she was alone. This new solitude of her grief seemed inescapable; it pressed in with any quiet moment, each silence feeling sharper than the last. However, boundaries were essential for a path forward. If aching discomfort was the price for clarity, she would endure it.

Each day brought the development of a new habit. Whether she cooked for herself, unpacked boxes she never got around to, or went for a walk alone. The name of the game was distraction, which could turn into growth. The brutal silence wasn’t going away anytime soon. Lacey wanted to do whatever she could to hold space for the two realities. She was hurting without her usual distractions, but desperate for a change.

Her introspection didn’t kill old habits. When difficulty arose, she turned to June for guidance. Even with her sibling gone from Earth, she’d seek solace at her grave. One quiet morning, after she left her condo, she took the usual trip to the cemetery. With most people at their office jobs, only spring tourists populated the city. Almost alone, Lacey strode from the train. Flowerbeds, vibrant in bright colors, lined the streets. The simple beauty escaped her distracted demeanor.

When she arrived at the graveyard, she took in the sights as she moved to June’s grave. The exposure to nature cleared her thoughts of the static that had been playing. A soft sigh fell from her lips as she eyed the gravestone in front of her. She wished she could speak to her sister, but she knew fate worked out much differently than either of them had planned.

“You’d be yelling your head off if you were here,” Lacey laughed quietly as she spoke to the gray structure. “Syler would be your pick, I’m sure of it,” she continued, placing her hand on top of the stone.

“Syler is everything I should be with. Honestly, he’s perfect,” she whispered, voice thick with regret.

“But I can’t convince my heart to let him in, not as more than a friend. I don’t know what I want anymore,” Lacey admitted, her jaw tightening as she fought tears.

“I wish you were here to tell me what to do,” she said, kneeling in front of her sister’s memorial to clear off stray weeds.

“You always had a good plan,” she continued, voice catching. Clearing her throat, she stood. “I’ll figure this out and make my life mean something. I promise.” She touched her lips, then the monument. “Love you,” she promised before leaving.

After exiting the cemetery, a heaviness sank into Lacey’s chest as she walked back to the subway. Leaving June’s presence only reinforced her loneliness. She intended to ease her aching heart. But visiting her sister hadn’t helped. Despite her mood, she needed to go to work. Bills wouldn’t stop. Social interaction with her co-workers seemed to help more than anything else she had tried.

Today, a wave of gratitude washed over her as she arrived at her job. When she entered, she noticed her favorite coworkers were already there. The roar of the crowd filled the room with the scent of alcohol lingering in the air. Her prior day almost felt erased. Lacey’s senses were distracted by everything and everyone around her, which was a needed distraction. Her grief took a welcome pause. She greeted her co-workers with a big smile as she cleaned off her space on the sticky station. Cole approached with a matched excitement she and the staff shared.

“LACE FACE!” he said, holding a shipment of limes.

Lacey laughed at his over-the-top exuberance. Lacey welcomed it, but it was also out of character for a probably sober Cole.

“You’re happy today,” she said, smiling as she took the contents and set them on the prep station in front of her.

“Business is booming. What’s not to be stoked about?” he shrugged.

“Cut and stock em’ up. At this rate, we’re gonna need the entire box,” he grinned regarding the limes. Lacey nodded and got to work.

The night passed without incident, each hour passing at a steady pace. Serving customers became easier as she settled into the workflow. She found her own rhythm behind the bar and worked with surprising ease.

Everything was okay until Reuben came through the entryway. Her mouth fell open as she locked eyes with the recognizable hated figure. “What the hell is he doing here?” she muttered under her breath. Her plan was to pretend she’d never met him before, to avoid conflict between herself and the business. But Reuben had other plans for this idea. He made himself a home on the other side of where Lacey was working. They shared an uncomfortable eye contact while he pretended to be a normal patron at the bar.

His presence built an anxiety in the room that Lacey wasn’t used to. Reuben arrived with the intention of invasion; his body language made that evident. The rigidity of his body and tightenness of his jaw glared at her while he maintained a smile for everyone. His actions were menacing in a way that she hadn’t seen since she lived with her alcoholic father. The blonde did her best not to stare, despite how much his eyes peered into her.

However, ignoring him proved futile when, within a few moments, he downed his beverage and moved to the front of the counter. “Do you think you’re some kind of savior?” he questioned her with an angry look.

“I’m not a savior. What do you want?” she replied, holding his gaze to challenge his aggression. Why did he care about her this much? His relationship with Brooke was never affected by her presence.

“I want to know why Brooke thought it was okay to hide out with you for over a month before coming back to me and begging to be an actual family,” he demanded. His voice was loud enough to be heard across the establishment. Lacey’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment.

“That’s a question for Brooke, not me,” Lacey said, maintaining her tone. She was about to ask him to go outside in and effort not to make a scene when Cole came up next to her.

“Out. No idea what’s happening here and don’t care. Nobody treats my staff like that. Out.” He gestured to the door.

The change from a female presence to a male helped diffuse the situation. Reuben shot Lacey a dirty look before leaving. Relief washed over her. Tears threatened to spill from the corners of her eyes as she collected herself.

“You good? Who was that jerk?” Cole asked.

“My ex’s child’s father,” she sighed. Cole made an ‘o’ face of shock and offered her a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“He shouldn’t be talking to you like that, dude. All you did was love her. She was the fool who left you,” he replied, offering warm consolation.

“Thank you. Sorry for the mess.”

Cole shook his head. “No. He created the scene, not you. It’s okay,” he said.

“You need the bouncer closer?” Cole asked.

“I’ll be alright. No choice,” Lacey nodded.

The theme for the day proved to be her survival in all forms. She yearned for a quick fix of comfort but the battles she handled exhausted her and it was nowhere in sight.

Editor: Lucy Cafiero