Carry On My Wayward Daughter, Part One
Death/Loss, Bullying, Divorce/Separation, Trauma/PTSD,
Depression, Violent content, Common Phobia (claustrophobia). Reader discretion is advised
***This is a work of Fanfiction, as none of the content is my original work. The characters are created by Eric Kripke. The content belongs to The WB and the CW, as the series was produced Warner Bros Television in association with Wonderland sound and Vision. All original characters are the property of Kathlynne Stephens. Thank you for your support*
Like any story, there’s a beginning
Sunlight cascaded down the park benches where a few children lingered behind wanting one last ride on the swing set. The children appeared to be giggling and having the time of their lives not caring it was starting to get dark. Their watchful parents, upon noticing the time of day, eventually beckoned their kids to come as it was already getting close to their bedtimes. Despite the growing protests for one more ride they listened, one of them was scooped up in the parent’s arms in a soothing manner. One of the children began to cry, begging their parent to stay a bit longer, while there was one witness sitting on the park bench wearing a small smile at the scene before her.
Her auburn hair shimmered with the last rays of sunlight as if her entire head was reduced to a dying flame. Her bluish-green eyes started to become glassy as she dared not to shed a tear or let herself get misty-eyed over the scene before her. She never was much of a religious person, nor did she care about anything to do with religion itself. But today she was. As it was with every day like this one. Today marked the anniversary of her sister’s death, having been taken away from her due to cancer.
The stranger sitting at the park bench clutched the golden locket that hung around her neck, as the tears finally escaped before she could control it. “I’m so sorry sis. I wish I could’ve spent more time with you, Lanie,” the young woman whispered as if it were a prayer from her soul. She started to give a quiet sob, thinking back at all the time wasted. All the time spent chasing down a hopeless dream of being an artist when she could have spent the days being with her sister. More importantly, she could have been there for her sister’s final days alive and healthy.
The young woman, Marni Henshaw, lived a good life like any normal kid. She remembered the days when she and her sister, Lanie, would make mud pies, have tea parties, and stayed up late many nights watching My Little Pony when they were young. They had a special bond that extended beyond simply being fraternal twins, as they were always at each other’s side. There was nothing that Marni would not do for Lanie and she always kept a watchful eye on her as they began to grow into their teen years. That bond lasted through the worst of days, even as their biological mother died of stomach cancer by the time they graduated high school.
Marni could remember sinking into a deep depression, wanting to shut herself away from the world, and felt like she could not go on as her sister Lanie stayed by her through it all. Marni could vividly remember one discussion she had with her sister when they had gone to visit their mother’s grave one afternoon. Marni stood there, motionless, as tears rolled down her face seeing the headstone with the following words, “Here lies Hanna Henshaw, dearest mother. May she rest in peace.” Marni gave a small sniff as she placed flowers on the grave, silent, and not wanting to say a word. She felt a hand rub her arm as she was pulled into her sister’s embrace, as silence reigned between them.
“You know mom would be proud of you,” Lanie had whispered as she gave a small sniff not letting go of her dear sister. What Marni did not know at that moment was that, when she thought the world ended that day, she was sorely wrong, it ended when Lanie died. When Lanie lost her fight to cancer, it left Marni with little family members besides their estranged aunt and an unknown father that was long gone before Marni and Lanie were born. Both of which their mother hardly ever talked about and would quickly dismiss or change the topic every time they were brought up. All Marni knew was that her aunt was extremely delusional and had a major fallout with their mother. Marni didn’t know anything fro sure, but she could assume.
What Marni knew about their father was also slim to none, and only went on hearsay from what Lanie heard from distant relatives; that he’d had an affair then divorced and left town. The rest was mere rumors that became small-town gossip that their father was mauled by a bear in a hunting accident. No matter whether it was fact or fiction there was one thing Marni knew was a definite fact: Their father was not coming back. For all Marni knew their father did not even care about her or Lanie or anyone if he did not bother to be there. The thought of this gave Marni a moment of bitterness, wondering if perhaps it was God’s punishment for her to be alone.
However, Marni did not want to waste any more thought on her father or the fact she hardly has any close family members. It was starting to get dark as the stars began to appear, peeking out among the blanket of the night sky. Marni shivered a little as she clutched her coat close to herself not wanting to stay out here longer than necessary. She briefly released her embrace to check the time on her phone which read 8:30, leaving Marni to widen her eyes as if remembering something. Marni whispered a curse as she sprang from her bench and quickly walked away from the park.
Marni mentally kicked herself for forgetting she was supposed to have dinner with an old friend and catch up with her. Marni and this friend were close during their high school days but lost touch for two years after Lanie died. Her phone began to ring as Marni whispered another curse before starting to repeat quietly, “Please don’t be Sandra, please don’t be Sandra” before answering with a soft, “Hello?”
“Marni? Where are you? I’ve been waiting at the diner for two hours, and it’s closing time now,” Marni could hear Sandra say with an annoyed tone. This made Marni stop in her tracks, beginning to feel terrible for her lack of time management. If there was a best friend of the year award out there, Marni would not be a winner. Instead, she was left feeling like she ruined plans with a friend she had not spoken to since her sister died. She began to hate herself for allowing her grief to take over and lose track of time. Before Marni could say anything though a small sigh was heard as Sandra added in a sympathetic tone, “Today is that day isn’t it.”
Marni could only give a small sniff as tears began to spring in her eyes once more. “Yeah,” she said as she began to shiver due to the cold. She wiped her eyes and sniffed once more as she tried to compose herself. “If you want we can try to reschedule,” Marni added but knew better than to get her hopes up. If Marni knew Sandra well she would be either working herself hard to write her next book or would be selling her work to various conventions. One of them being the Supernatural con, based on the hit TV show. It was one of the many things she and Sandra had bonded over.
If Marni were right about this, it would be virtually impossible to spend time with Sandra due to her being preoccupied at her exhibitor booth. Marni had gone to a convention once. It had been difficult to spend time with Sandra without her being crowded with her growing fanbase. Marni could only imagine how big Sandra’s fanbase could have grown within the last two years. Without a doubt, Sandra was extremely successful with her form of art. Marni could see the evidence herself as Sandra’s fan page on social media grew with more and more followers. It made her have a bit of envy in spite of herself. Marni was a struggling artist that hardly sold any artwork or paintings, especially when it came to promoting her work on her own social media.
A long drawn out sigh from Sandra, as if unsure what to say, only made Marni’s fears grow worse as far as rescheduling. “I don’t know Marni, I have a book signing gig already set up tomorrow. Then over the next few days, I have to get myself ready for the Supernatural convention for the weekend in Denver, as well as a panel with Jared and Jensen.” Marni’s heart begin to sink and she felt worse than she already had. A brief pause was heard on Sandra’s end before she gave a groan as if momentarily distracted by someone.
“I’m sorry Marni, I got to go, maybe the next time I am in town we can catch up. Like old times. I know it’s hard with today, and I wish I could be of more help right now, but Lanie wouldn’t want you to be mopey and sad over her, we all have to move on with our lives. It’s time you lived yours. I love you, my friend.” Marni heard Sandra say before the call ended abruptly, leaving her alone with her thoughts and the cold wind blowing through her hair.
“So much for that,” Marni thought as she sighed and began the two-mile backtrack away toward the park and an apartment complex across the street. She shivered as she kept the coat close to her body while walking quick enough to keep herself from thinking about the cold. It was hardly into the fall within the state of Illinois and it was starting to feel cold enough to be noticeable. She could hear distant sirens, the background noise she was more than used to in the city of Chicago. While it carried a type of reputation for being a hotbed of crime and homelessness, Marni considered it to be as close to home as it could get.
It was the type of city enough for her to blend in among those too focused on their own problems to even notice her. In her own mind, there could be worse places for her to reside and for that she was grateful. Tears started to form in her eyes once more mulling over the words Sandra had told her as she continued the walk towards her apartment complex. She thought about how Lanie would not want her to be mopey and sad over her, but she dared not mull over it further for tonight. She wanted to rest.
Tomorrow was another day to move on and live out her life, even without her dear sister. Marni was exhausted as she unlocked the door, shut it behind her, and walked over to the makeshift pull-away couch as she collapsed on the cushions. There she lost all control and let out a silent sob, letting the exhaustion start to take over as she wished more than anything in her life she could be strong, like how Lanie saw her.
**If you or someone is experiencing a mental health crisis or has been experiencing severe loss and depression, call 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727), the national suicide prevention lifeline (1-800-273-8255), text CONNECT or HOME to the crisis text line at 741741, or call 911**