Looking Into Someone Else’s Closet?
Have you ever woken up one day and feel like you’re living a day in someone else’s life? When you put on clothes, does it feel like you’re playing dress up in someone else’s closet? This morning my dog woke me up by whimpering and pawing at my door. When I answered, she wagged her tail and jumped onto my bed. This is a daily event that I have come to enjoy.
She followed me into the kitchen, and watched me eat a cup of yogurt while I was waiting for my coffee maker to fill the cup. I always fill it half full of milk; I have learned that if I do this properly, my coffee will get a nice layer of foam on top. I watched the news as I enjoyed my cup of coffee.
Nothing seems out of place. Not yet anyway…
That evening, I made sure to put a pair of black pants, a black tank top and a blue cardigan on my bed to join my family for dinner later. In the end, I wore my favorite pair of gray faded jeans a black hoodie, which I got from The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland.
I was always one of those people who didn’t think clothes are more important than everyday life. And in my adolescence and even my twenties, I fell into what one could consider the alternative or so-called goth scene.
But with the end of college ever approaching, I had the bright idea to go to Ann Taylor Loft and pick up something to wear for job interviews. I chose a gray dress with navy blue flowers. At the time, I was so in love with the dress I couldn’t take my eyes off it, and I was thrilled when I found a little sweater which was also navy blue, to go with it.
The interview process has been slow. I live in a town where most jobs are few and far between. As the leaves are starting to turn that lovely shade of sunset orange and the weather is getting cold, I needed something that appeared professional but would keep me warm when needed to look professional. And the answer to this problem was that sweater with little blue flowers on it. It didn’t seem like me, but it was cute for someone and it would serve the intended purpose.
Some days I go through my closet looking for something to wear and I see little pops of yellow, pretty flowers and various colors. My immense collection of books about Columbine and Charles Manson are now being held ever so lovingly in a giant tie dye sling bag.
I’ve never been the kind of person to care much about clothing, but as time goes on and I can feel my life changing, it seems like my ever changing wardrobe provides the tangible representation of my changing life.
I’m working very slowly on building a relationship with my family, building a career, a good system of values and beliefs with a positive presence in the lives of others. It is scary but change is an inevitable part of life. Having a visual representation of change can be very scary even when it’s something so simple as a wardrobe.
When you go in someone else’s closet, many questions can go through your head all at once, such as, should you be snooping around somewhere you don’t belong? Is it possible that anyone else would come to care, or notice, your presence there? And what happens if you get caught doing something you shouldn’t?
But most importantly, would you be proud of the clothing that is representing you when that person was looking through your closet?