February is the month of gray and the month of love all wrapped up into one. Did someone plan this phenomenon? I believe it is all a plan to get us through the last cold, gray month of winter before the promise of spring lies before us. Some may call it a capitalist ploy to make oodles of money on flowers and candy. I look forward to any excuse to celebrate the love of my life and all his thoughtful, kind, and compassionate gestures.

It All Started with the Internet

Life does not always work out as planned. Often, it is messy, scary, and full of uncomfortable periods of sadness and confusion. You can reach a point where you feel lonely but are convinced this love thing is not in the cards. I hit that point. One word to describe it all—stuck!

Tired of my waffling on the subject, a dear friend of mine signed me up for E-Harmony. She said, “Do it. Don’t do it. Your choice. But I got you started.” I decided to give it three months with zero-expectation that it would amount to a hill of beans. Then on Halloween of all days, I received a message. One message led to a second, which led to a coffee date on a Friday night.

Mess to Magnificent

It turned out we were both on the zero-expectations train. Instead, we fell in step immediately. Totally terrified, I reminded him that I was a hot mess with a lot of baggage, “Sir, I am broken and warning you now.” Did he run for the hills? Quite the opposite. He reminded me daily that I was not broken, only human. He made normal everyday life fun. Exactly one year after our first message, he asked me to marry him. Six months after that, we said I do.

All the Little Things

Life is not a 24/7 thrill ride. It is a million small things that add up to one beautiful life. I love the little things! Random trips to the store. Binge watching a new show. Pizza with the kids on a Friday night. These are the things that fill my cup. The way he always reaches for my hand when we are walking next to each other. Knowing that I cannot live without my coffee, even though he thinks it’s gross. Reading my body language on the hard days, even when I am trying so hard to put out “have it all together” vibes.

Crazy and Brave

I come up with crazy ideas, but I am not brave. Anxiety rules my life. My husband gives me courage. Sometimes it comes from him annoyingly pushing me to try something new, even when I really want nothing to do with it. Spoiler Alert—my life is full of new adventures, hobbies, and fun because of his insistence. If I can dream it up, he can make it happen. This is not an exaggeration.

Storytime! We bought a foreclosure. The lot was perfect for what we needed, and the bones of the house were good. The actual house itself—a complete disaster. The two of us saw the potential hidden inside. When it came to the kitchen, I was having a terrible time designing it to my needs with the current footprint. It was driving me insane. The kitchen needed to be perfect, because I love to cook. I looked at my husband and asked, “Can we just move the kitchen to the other side of the house?” I had no expectation this conversation would go anywhere. We were already gutting every single room to the studs. The work was abundant. Another crazy project was unnecessary. The man went into the basement, came back up, and drew an X on the floor. “As long as the water stops here, I can do it.” What came next? Walls were torn down, headers were installed, and the kitchen was relocated to the other side of the house. Not because it needed it, but because I wanted it to happen. Together we were crazy and brave.

Simple, Hard, and Everything in Between

We have three kids, a successful business, and a beautiful home. Together we manage impossible things, like loss, grief, and complex health issues. We garden, rebuild engines, and redesign rooms. Our lives are full of laughter, silliness, and the constant driving of children from point A to point B. I love him more with each day and cannot imagine my life without him. What will tomorrow bring? Who knows! Whatever it is, we can figure it out. Cheers to fifteen more years and fifteen after that. I love you more today than yesterday and my love for you continues to grow as we navigate forward each day.