It’s Christmas season, and I’m sure you’re already tired of the crowds, commercialism, traffic, and watching your credit card bill go up. I hate those things, too, but what I really hate are the songs, movies, charities, kindness, generous, thoughtful, and laughable goings-on. I mean give me a break. Who wants to spend a whole month, maybe even two, concentrating and focusing on charity, giving back, thinking of others, and spending time together? I sure don’t! Christmas is overrated and here’s why.

1. Movies

            Sometimes I want to spray my eyes with pepper spray from all the cheesy Christmas movies. Why wouldn’t we want to watch happy films about coming together with family and friends, or simply to laugh with family and friends, especially after all the horror films from October? Films that remind us that sometimes there is a happy ending, that there’s still hope for a better tomorrow. Stories that remind us to be thankful for the relationships we have, for a season of giving. Stories that remind us of what the holiday season is all about. Gross.

2. Music

            I don’t know why we’d want to listen to the same songs over and over again, especially when they make us happy and reflect on the previous year. Shame on those songs to making us feel good! I just hate getting in that Holiday Spirit through song!

3. Christmas Tree

            Oh snap, the Christmas Tree. One of the most dreaded holiday traditions. Who doesn’t want a shining decorated tree light up in their house? This is when a lot of families get together to reminisce about years past while placing ornaments just right on the tree. (Or avoiding the lower half altogether. Um cats/dogs/toddlers anyone?) Who needs, or wants, family time and a major Christmas tradition?

4. Food

            Food is always good, I can’t think of time when it’s not. Except at Christmas, when a grand turkey or ham is cooked for all to enjoy, along with your favorite holiday drink, biscuits, green bean casserole, cookies, and pies! Sounds heavenly, I mean terrible. 

5. Gifts

Hands down the most stressful part of Christmas (and I’m not kidding). In order to beat the crowds, you have to be finished with Christmas shopping in October, two months early! Not to mention trying to find the perfect gift for Aunt Sue and cousin John. Because every single person you know deserves a gift from you..right?

            And then once that gift is finally wrapped to perfection (because we are all professional gift wrappers) and is handed over for that person to tear apart all your hard work, the joy they feel from getting something from you is downright unpleasant. Who wants to witness the good, the happy, the joy that comes from defeating the crowds and giving someone you love a gift? Not me.

6. Service

            Who ever said giving of yourself to others makes you feel good is a liar. Charity doth faileth, and I’d rather not spend my free time, or funds, on anything or anyone. The happiness that comes from serving friends or family, volunteering at the food shelter, being a “Secret Santa” and purchasing gifts for children and families who need help, is just your body tricking you into thinking these things are good. Don’t listen.

7. Family

            And finally, family. Of your own choosing or not, family is the worst. I mean even friends who you’ve chosen to be your family. Why would we ever want to spend time with people who love us and who we’ve chosen to be in our lives and who have chosen us to be in theirs? Surrounding yourself with people who love you and want to share that with you on Christmas, is not healthy, no matter what doctors say. Instead, be alone. And don’t reach out to other’s who might be lonely. I’m sure they want to be by themselves for Christmas, too. So please, don’t show your love for others or reach out. We don’t want them to feel to special.

So, like I said, Christmas is so overrated. Make sure to disband all merry making and refuse to participate in any holiday cheer.