Humans are complex beings. We frequently discover new things about ourselves, forget, reminisce, dwell in regret or joy, and stress out over situations beyond our control. Through trial and error, we learn lessons, switch paths, and meet people who can either make or break us. Some days, we make progress, and others, we struggle to get through. Being human means living with internal contradictions. We want to become better versions of ourselves, yet we fall back on old habits. Once we achieve a goal, we’re not content. First, we crave stability, then desire change when it becomes boring and stagnant because of a lingering thought: “This can’t be it; there must be more to life.” There’s a push and pull between our current reality and future versions of ourselves.

We forget that uncertainties, growth, and pivots are normal, and that there’s no such thing as a final destination to happiness and contentment. Due to hedonic adaptation, the highs and lows we experience fade over time. That’s why we continue to fall back into the same habits, behaviors, and mindsets. However, through it all, we keep going when nothing makes sense. Being human is about navigating and filtering through these contradictions– our thoughts, fears, hopes, and regrets.

Linear Expectations

Despite knowing things may not go as planned, we get disappointed and doubt ourselves. We question our abilities, what went wrong, and how we could’ve prevented failure. We tend to focus on the negative side of everything, which affects wellbeing and hinders reaching our true potential. However, we can’t stop the inevitable. Learning to give our best effort and let go, no matter the result, is difficult to do. There’s an inner belief from societal and personal pressure that success and progress are linear (if you do x, then y will result). In reality, life isn’t a math equation, and there’s no single answer, guaranteed route, or outcome. If we accept that existence may be unpredictable, be aware and understanding toward ourselves, we can lift this heavy weight off our shoulders and trust the process as it is. Non-linear transitions and setbacks contribute to a strengthened and conscious mind, set for growth and clarity.

Obsession of the Future

Time flies by fast because we’re laser-focused on the next moment, making the present seem shorter and blurred. The illusion of “one day” imprints on our minds, overpowering the present. The better version of ourselves that we aim for doesn’t exist in the way we think. It’s unrealistic to believe that we’ll have everything figured out by a certain year, point, or milestone. Life comes in stages, each with more desires, opportunities, and problems. Instead of visualizing an “end” goal, we should treat it as the process of becoming. We are always going to evolve with every phase. If there’s one thing we need to work on, it’s giving ourselves grace. By reflecting on our regrets and mistakes, we create clarity moving forward and establish ourselves as the driving force of the journey. This way, we no longer fixate on the future with high or unrealistic expectations.

The human experience isn’t defined by outside factors. Nothing external should make us doubtful or unworthy. We can’t control our environment, but we can decide how to feel and perceive everything from the inside. The solution isn’t to arrive at a certain point but to reassess, pivot, and keep going no matter what happens because we learn as we go. Our conflicting thoughts, emotions, and behavioral patterns have the power to shift our perspectives and shape who we are and where we want to be. We’re not here to put on a show or please everyone, losing ourselves in the process. Humans are meant to exist–simply to be.

Editor: Shannon Hensley