Imagine a nine-month-old experimenting with his legs for the first time. His knees are wobbly like a newborn fawn. Splat. He lands on his booty; thank goodness he has all that padding from the diaper. Laughter ensues. “Great job!” shouts Grandma with excitement. “You’re almost there,” Grandpa says with encouragement.

This depiction is a typical scene when infants learn to move. There is an expectation of falls while growth and development occur. Adults witnessing the event are supportive and keep light attitudes with smiles for the baby.

Now, imagine the same scene, with a different reaction from the grown-ups. When the little man falls, Grandma says, “You need to get better. With those legs, you won’t get any college sports scholarships.” Grandpa says nothing but grunts out loud.

The way the second scene plays out shocks a person. That is not how people talk to babies. It is unacceptable and feels wrong.

Attitude Shift

At what point does that style of spoken word and attitude become okay in a child’s life? Speaking that way to a teenager seems less out of place than with a newborn or toddler. Using that tone with an adult is out of the question because it is rude.

It seems there is a grey area where society expects adolescents to skyrocket to success. The culture expects kids to go from fumbling elementary age to awkward preteen growth to the flourishing college era. This is a lot of evolution in a short amount of time.

Adults get a span from their 20s up until their 60s, 70s, or 80s if one is so lucky. So many decades to figure out their reason for existence. Even that is sometimes not enough. How does a little one discover themselves while going through physical, emotional, hormonal, and school changes?

There is no one right way to be a parent. Many styles, types, and circumstances dictate the resources available for each family. Some moms possess an infinite well of patience while other mothers struggle with getting out of bed every day due to depression or illness. Some dads work multiple jobs to keep food on the table, while other fathers choose to see their kids on holidays and special occasions. These conditions may be temporary or permanent.

Intention

Intention is free and accessible to all.

Every interaction with another individual is an opportunity to express intent. Every engagement is unique and requires a variety of approaches.

As a mom, there are times when a tot’s actions require discipline. Each family chooses the method of correction that works for their unit. At the heart is the intention, or objective. Is the punishment meant to harm, teach, or reinforce learning with the youngster?

As a pediatric nurse, I witness parents struggle with seeing their child experience pain from hospital procedures. I emphasize to them that the intent is not to harm the wee one. The purpose is often to promote healing, obtain more information, or monitor the patient. Intention inside and outside of the home is essential.

Challenges

Support the growth and development of all people, from newborn to teenage to old age. Each milestone is exclusive to each being. The words one uses speak volumes about intention.

Keep in mind that everyone at every age has goals, challenges, accomplishments, shortcomings, and room for progress.

Infants learn to crawl, walk, feed themselves, and talk. Elementary age acquires reading, writing, and social skills. Teenagers navigate puberty, peer pressure, complex critical thinking, and fostering independence. Post-college young adults have a new world to discern. The sandwich generation has aging relatives and young ones to care for. Older adults have aging bodies, grandkids, and personal loss.

Build Up

Treat all human beings with respect and the intention to support and build them up. Recognize that the whole world is imperfect. Encourage children to develop their talents, identify their faults, seek improvement, appreciate hard work, and still maintain self-love.

That is an enormous ask.

Parents are not perfect. Hold this loving intention within a heart during interactions, and that is enough. All a family can do is try.

Editor: Claudia Cramer