For the past couple weeks, I have felt unnaturally energetic. Now, it’s no secret that I’m a pretty enthusiastic person online. I’m often compared to the silly, energetic characters in movies. However, generally, it doesn’t usually match my actual “in person” energy levels.

I’m not ashamed to talk about my depression and mental health. I’ve written several articles about it. For the last four and a half months I have been taking an antidepressant in hopes that it would help my focus and concentration for school. This is the longest I’ve ever continued to take an antidepressant, but honestly, I don’t think it’s helping that much.

For the last week though, my energy has spiked significantly. It’s even been noticed at home where I’ve been told I’m talking a lot. I’m just so energetic and I think I have an explanation:

I’m happy.

It’s that simple. For those who don’t know, I’ve recently created my own website. I’ve put together a small team of people to write book reviews and other book-related things, and last week I officially started posting things on it. Saying “I love books and reading” is the biggest understatement ever. It’s an obsession.

For the first time in my life I am genuinely excited, every day, to be working on something. It’s given me motivation; it’s given me something to look forward to. It’s been a lot of work, but I’ve loved every second. Honestly, loved it.

I feel like I have finally figured out what I’m supposed to do. Now, to be clear, I am still studying forensic psychology, and I am still loving it. After all, for now, it’s not like I can just get paid to read and review books. In fact, I calculated how much I’ve spent on books just this year and officially grounded myself from buying any more for a while. But this is definitely something I can do on the side, something to motivate me to keep working hard at school. I am adding an English Language and Literature minor, which is exciting, but I’m not changing my major again. I’ll be graduating in a little over a year and a half. I’m debating between forensic psychology and creative writing for graduate school though. Luckily, I have some time to decide.

This has all just caused something deep inside me to awaken. A passion I’ve been missing for a long time, a creative spark as I work on the website. I’m even working on getting a “booktube” channel started for the website. Plus, I am writing a fiction series! I started it a couple years ago, but I’m more motivated than ever to finish the first book and attempt to get it published.

My point: find what makes you happy. Find that thing that gives you purpose and hold on to it. Don’t let it go, ever. Regardless of whether it’s “realistic” or “logical,” if it makes you happy, do it. Your happiness is worth it.

Things are finally working out and clicking into place, and I am so happy. I feel like I keep repeating that, but it’s true. I’m so grateful to have found this path, and I’m even more grateful for my incredible friends and family who have been supporting and encouraging me. I could not have done this without you!