Author’s note: This piece includes brief mentions of suicide. Please read with discretion.

“The Trump Administration Orders Termination of National LGBTQ+ Youth Suicide Lifeline, Effective July 17th.” 

I recall seeing these words appear on the explore page of one of my social media platforms. A storm of shock and denial consumed me with each word I read. Within seconds, I was traveling directly to The Trevor Project. I was hoping it was a hoax, and humanity wasn’t tossing away another strand of its decency. However, my jaw dropped and my gaze bulged when reality stepped into view, confirming the vile truth.

My eyes watched the screen while trying to process the news, and rage consumed me with each breath I sucked in. I nearly shattered my phone with how angry I became. 

It’s appalling that some people’s hatred of the LGBTQ+ community would lead them to remove crucial support. They would rather leave those in need with almost nothing. What justifies this? What about separating church and state? Due to the prejudice against the LGBTQ+ community, many others let its members suffer rather than show them love and acceptance. No words can do justice to describe the anguish that filled my heart.

It triggered memories of my darkest moments. How I found myself among those wounded souls, prepared to switch off the lights and never wake up. My existence felt meaningless, deemed insignificant compared to those in society, with its biased social norms, considered “crucial.” I still grapple with those anxieties today, especially in light of this sudden news. 

It makes them a thousand times worse, adding to the fear of the future that continues to grow within me. Witnessing the amount of encouragement these actions receive doesn’t hone the dread either. If society can’t embrace individuals such as me and show us respect, why should we stay? 

It is a morbid way of thinking, but it’s true. Of course, there are still other forms of resources around, with professionals ready to help. The AP News mentions in one of its articles that The Trevor Project and the 988 hotline will still be available to provide services to those in need. While it is reassuring to know this support is accessible, that doesn’t make this loss suddenly okay. It signifies a huge step back in history for our world, filling the new space with hopelessness.

Yet, within all that fear and dread swarming about, I see the light. A light that takes the shape of community protests. Ones that include everyone holding signs, marching beside one another, and chanting out demands for justice from the leaders meant to protect humanity. It’s support groups created by people who want to make a safe space for those affected, with meetings on a Zoom call or in a public space where they are welcome.

It’s witnessing thousands calling representatives to encourage change and sharing information online when we’re unable to be there on the front lines. This support includes numbers for other hotlines or programs that utilize the necessary tools to assist in ways that may not be readily apparent. 

Then it morphs into seeing LGBTQ+ folks living their truth unapologetically, refusing to hide who they are, even when greeted with disgust in response by close-minded counterparts. 

And sometimes it’s about letting those in need know we are there for them, taking action, or embracing them with open arms and kindness. A sliver of sunlight shines through the worst of this constant storm. 

It inspires me not to give up and to use my writing to draw attention to this crucial news. I refuse to allow the erasure of my community and our history, forcing us to hide away in shame while acting as if we don’t exist. I aim to connect with others by sharing my experience, offering comfort, and showing them they hold value and love in this life. These measures explain the existence of Pride and that of similar organizations.

They’ll continue to do so, even in different forms. Pride is more than rainbows and parades or support groups. It is our protest to prove we are here. Our unapologetic truth that no one will ever take away. 

If you or a loved one are experiencing harmful or suicidal thoughts, please call the numbers below or visit 988lifeline.org. You are not alone.

Editor: Lucy Cafiero